The Pregnancy Emails a serial by Cynthia Piramalli

This is a series of emails sent to family and friends by an expectant mother. While she originally intends to share the joy of her experience with those she loves, this humorous series of emails show how the experience changes her priorities, not to mention her mood!

Hello Friends and Family - Yes, I am pregnant. Thank you all for your congratulatory emails, which made me think that with all the emails I've gotten lately asking after my state of health, etc, that I would be proactive and send out an 'e-newsletter' of sorts to save you all inquiring individually, and to answer all the questions you might have (and many you won't) in one go. So here we go ...

More stuff about energy and bras - Here we are again, and at Week 14 of my pregnancy. And here I thought no-one would be interested, but I got a huge amount of email responses from the first Update which mainly included well wishes and comments on people's own experiences.

Hey, I'm pregnant! - I am now at Week 18 of my pregnancy. Let's get down to it by first seeing what the experts are saying at this stage in the game.

Okay, onto the experts - Week 26. Sorry I'm running a bit behind. Quite honestly I didn't think anyone would notice. In fact, I thought you'd be relieved that I'm being lazy, but that has not been the case at all. I've had quite a few requests for the next one, particularly from a few of the male recipients wanting to hear more about my breasts. Unfortunately, lads, they're pretty much the same, but I'll see if I can fit something in ...

Try giving birth! - Well it's getting exciting now, isn't it? Hmm, maybe not. But for me, this is the time when I suddenly remember ... PAIN! A forgotten realization came to me in the middle of the night not so long ago: "Oh man, NOW I remember! That's the part I didn't ever want to do again! Surely there are other ways of getting this thing out of me ..." The sad fact is, no there's not. Well, one could always take the "knock me out and cut me open" approach, but that has it's drawbacks as well. All I can hope is what everyone says is true: "The second one is easier". It had better be!

the Birth Video - Firstly, let's see what the experts are saying: Maureen the Maestro tells us that the baby looks very 'babylike' (as opposed to something 'foetus like', I imagine), and that it should have it's head down. (In other words, if it doesn't, get it 'fixed' or labour will be 10 times worse.) And the movements are very 'vigorous'. 

Super Susan - Week 36, and this may be my last update until the 'big day', particularly if my mother is right and I go into labour early. Probably. She's always right, but don't tell her I said that.

You're in pre-labour. - Well, it's taken me long enough to get around to it, but here it is finally - THE GRUESOME CONCLUSION! As my mother says, grab yourself a cuppa and a biscuit, this could take a while.