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The purpose of relationships is to heal. Any other agenda is a plan of emotional futility. It's a simple enough focus, yet maintaining it requires diligent effort and a constant re-directing of the ego's petty demands.
The following was written in the form of a prayer, because that's what speaks to
me. However, it can easily be a list of affirmations. I wrote this almost a year ago at the threshold of a relationship with a man, and I have referred to it continuously throughout this time in an effort to stay focused on what I believe is the truth: The purpose of relationships is to heal. Ourselves...not the other person. Regardless of the form, length of time in relationship or how many children we've had together, our partner's healing is essentially none of our business.
This is not a cold or uncaring perspective; on the contrary, nothing could be more loving than to accept others for who they are and not insist that their happiness be conditional upon anything we do or don't do. Some of these were easier than others, both to commit to and aspire to, and I don't know if I've come close to actualizing any of them, but I can honestly say that they have been the reins for emotions headed over perilous cliffs; the resource I've called on when different challenges arose; the center I've used to go to and from my partner. All questions have been answered by one or more of these passages. The most significant change I've observed as a result of reciting these affirmations regularly is that I am more peaceful. May they be a source of the same for you.
May all my beliefs be challenged.
May I release all ideas from the past.
May I release all attachment to the future.
May I not identify myself by this relationship.
May I come to him, be with him and depart from him without conflict.
May I see any conflict as my own healing need.
May I let him be who he is and not need him to need me.
May I learn of him from what he gives/shows and not from what I project.
May I learn that it might be okay if his body is with my body and then his body is with someone else's.
May I learn that it might be okay if my body is with his body and then my body is with someone else's.
May I tend my own garden and accept and love his.
May I extend my projection of his garden only when asked and then tell the truth and come from love.
May I not attempt to become the person I project I think he wants me to be.
May I not attempt to desire his desires or love his loves falsely.
May I not disregard my true desires and loves.
May I speak the truth when asked a question and not create a new disguise to hide old errors behind.
May I learn the value of my own power.
May I feel with renewed knowing the opening of my heart.
May I give of myself freely.
May I refrain from competition.
May I forgive instead of seek to make wrong.
May I not seek approval, appreciation or love.
May I constantly seek Your will and not my own.
May I not project my own agendas onto him as his, and may I catch myself before attacking him for them.
May I be present each moment.
May I Love What Is.
©2004 StoriesByEmail.com
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