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Hello
everyone! My name is Cynthia. I am professor Taltos's assistant. Professor
Taltos is away today, but he has been generous enough to allow me to have a wee
bit of your time. If you don't mind I'd like to tell you a story. It would
sure mean a lot to me.
The story I want to tell
you isn't very long. It's short, and it's sweet I think. I would love to
think that this story will, somehow, reach a very important young man. If it
does this would truly be a miracle. But then again I have always believed in
miracles, so I have high hopes for success.
Professor
Taltos will be back in time for the next scheduled lesson. He is down with the
flu but says to tell you he will be right as rain in no time flat. Now, if you
don't mind, I will proceed with my story.
Cynthia
G. McCaffrey
GRANDMA
ALWAYS LOVES YOU!
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When I think of you, I am drawn into a
whole bunch of memories. Memories I very seldom allow to run through my mind. I
keep them far away, in a secret place, deep inside of me. They are safe in this
place. I know no one can find them there or take them away from me.
I treasure these memories far too greatly
to share most of them. The day has come for me to stop being so selfish. It's
time for me to share a few of them. For tomorrow, you my wonderful Grandson,
Theodore Michael Seigers (Fletcher) you will be thirteen. What an amazing time
this must be for you. And what a fine handsome young man I'll bet you've
grown to be.
It has been five long years since I last
saw your sweet face. Everyday my search for you continues. In my search I have
found so many things that have amazed me. Things that have taught me so much
about myself. These things have given me so much to live for, so much to teach
and so much for me to share.
I pray the day comes soon that we will
share some of these things together. And I pray that you will somehow realize
just how much your Grandma (McCaffrey) loves you. With each day that has passed,
my love for you has only grown. Giving me more fuel to carry on my search for
you.
I will share some of these precious
moments I have frozen in the space of time I call my mind. I share them because
I do love you so very much. And I want you to know what a wonderful gift you are
to my world.
“How will I ever tell him how much he
means to me? Will I ever be able to say 'I love you' enough to him?” I
remember thinking those thoughts as I stood looking down at you in your Mom's
arms. You weren't any more than half an hour old. I saw the look of awe on
your Mom's face as she looked up at me. She was so tired but in a happy kind
of tired way. The two of you looked so sweet together. I remember thinking I had
never seen your Mom look so happy.
I remember the day we took you home; I
was walking on cloud nine. There was a houseful of people there to greet you.
We were all so delighted to see you at home, safe and warm. Your Mom and you
were living with me. I considered myself doubly blessed. I could have you to
myself as much as I wanted. There weren't a lot of Grandmas that were that
lucky.
I couldn't believe you were here. It
had been such a long, hard wait. You had been overdue, and your Mommy wasn't
in the best of health. It was a difficult time for many of us, and believe me
you were worth every second of it. I remember thinking these things as I sat
holding you for the first time in your new home. Some instinct told me to
cherish and save all the memories I could. For you and I, it was a very special
time.
I remember taking you to the beach close
to our home. You were maybe two months old. I had to send your Mom to the snack
bar so I could go in the water with you cradled in my arms. Your Mom is scared
of water; it made her nervous to see me take you in with me. But you loved it so
much; you started kicking and looked at me with delight in your eyes. Soon your
Mom was in the water playing with us. It was a very special day. I think of our
first summer together a lot.
I hold close to my heart the memory of
the times I sat holding you. I loved to rub the peach fuzz you had for hair. It
was so soft, like the down a goose would use to line her nest. Your Mom would
laugh and tell me to stop, or I'd rub all your hair off. I can still remember
how wonderful you smelled when I had you all powdered up after your bath. I
called you my fuzzy teddy bear. Your peach fuzz for hair would stand up all over
no matter what we did. You were so sweet.
Too soon our summer ended. I wish I had
known that would be our only one summer for a long time for us. I would have
saved up so many more memories. But I remember the day your Mom decided it was
time for you to move to the city with her and your Dad. I wanted to say no. I
wanted to be selfish and keep you to myself. But your Mom was right; it was time
for you, your Mom and your Dad to start a life together. I wished you well and
said good bye with tears in my eyes. I knew you wouldn't be far away, and I
would see you soon. It was time for me to start a life for myself too.
Oh the joy I feel every time I remember
the day I went to see you and your Mom. Your Mom opened the door of the
apartment with the biggest smile on her face I had ever seen. She pushed the
door open, and you ran all the way down the hall into my arms. Those were your first
steps to me; you had learned to walk.
My heart was singing, but in a way it was
a melancholy tune. I put you down and watched you wander back into the
apartment. I remember thinking how
fast you were growing. I wanted to freeze you in time just for a little while. It
seemed to all be happening so fast. You were growing up, becoming a big boy.
You had to go to daycare. Mom was back in
school, and Dad was looking for work. So off to daycare you went. It was good for
you. Up until then you had been in a mainly adult world. In daycare you were
learning to be with children your own age. Sometimes I would go to pick you
up there. I loved going to get you; we always had so much fun on the drive home.
There is one time in particular that I
have a very fond memory of. I still laugh when I think of it. I had gone to pick
you up in your daycare. As usual you came running across the room yelling,
“Grandma, Grandma! “ with your little arms reaching out to me. As I reached
down to pick you up you looked up at me. You had the most angelic eyes I have
ever seen. Then you put your little arms around my neck All of a sudden
slapped me as hard as you could. Then you put your little arms around my neck
and kissed me on the cheek you said, “Me loves you, let's go!”
Your poor daycare teacher was so
embarrassed. Her face had turned all red. She very quickly explained you had
seen a little boy in your class hit someone else. She told me you were such a
sweet little thing that you didn't understand that you hurt me when you hit
me. I never told her I knew you had never meant to hurt me. I already knew what
a sweet little guy you were. I knew you very well, and I knew you were so full of
love and kindness that you would never hurt anyone on purpose. I just hugged you
close to me, and we went home.
There are so very many special memories
of you that I keep close to my heart. Some day we will sit together, and I will
tell you all you want to hear. But I must finish off this story now. The
Professor gave me a limited amount of time to wrap it up. I just wanted to tell
you that you tip toe through Grandma's mind every day. And when you do, she
smiles softly to herself.
Someday soon my sweet Theo! Someday soon
we'll be together again. I hope when we find each other, I'll be able to
tell you how much I have missed you. I would like to share with you all that I
have harbored in my memories. There are so many things I have kept sharp in my
mind. Always believing that some day I would be able to tell you all about them.
As I look around me today at my family, I
feel a bittersweet happiness swell up in my heart. For I know that things had to
turn out the way they have. For to change any of it would change what is in my
world now. And I love dearly all the ones that I have with me. My family and my
friends are dear to me. I wouldn't want to change the things time has given me
now.
But if I could change one thing in my
life! I would never have allowed
you to drift away from me. Theo. I would somehow keep you close to me, always,
and I would know you are safe. I would change it if I could, but I know I
can't. So I have learnt to accept the fact that things have to be the way they
are sometimes. It isn't up to us to try change that.
I can only hold on to my precious
memories until we can sit and talk again. I will never cease my search for you.
I believe the time is coming soon when I will have to search no more. And once
again I will whisper to you as I did a long time ago, when I rocked you to
sleep. Way back then I'd hum a little tune. It was a silly little tune I would
make up for you. It always ended the same way. ”And always remember, no matter
how many the miles we're apart...Grandma will always love ya!!!”
Happy birthday Theodore Michael Siegers
(Fletcher). I'll be seeing you soon my love; be a good boy!
I wish to thank Professor
Taltos for allowing me to take up your time today. As I said, he will be
returning for your next lesson, which will be, I believe, lesson eight. I also
want to thank you for indulging me. I hope you enjoyed my story.
For now this is Cynthia G. McCaffrey
signing off.
©2003
StoriesByEmail.com
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