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Here are a couple more reader's questions and my responses.
It's helpful to know as we go through our challenges that we're not alone and
this is particularly true in our intimate relationships. I believe we all
benefit from the experiences of others so here are a couple more of yours. Keep
your queries coming...I love to hear from you! Write to me at: astrohealth@storiesbyemail.com.
Letter #1:
I am a cancer woman in love with a Scorpio woman, and what a
wonderful relationship it is. I am by nature a communicator and am having
difficulty getting this Scorpio woman to "open up". I tread lightly
since I do not want to invade her safe zone or her personal space I am having
some difficulty in finding the key to wholly communicate with her and would
greatly welcome any advise you may have. Thank you so much for any help you can
provide.
Dear Cancer,
Getting a Scorpio to open up is like prying two iron posts
apart with a toothpick. Yes, Cancer, expression in all realms is something that
comes more easily to you, though, remember, even you have areas you prefer to
keep private. Scorpio simply has more...a lot more. Scorpio is a master at
extracting information while disclosing almost nothing.
Your Scorpio's desire for privacy has next to nothing to do
with the level of intimacy or comfort she feels with you; it's just the way the
energy pattern operates. One of the reasons that Scorpio's emotional energy is
so hidden that you may be able to appreciate is that Scorpio is the most
powerful healer in the zodiac and in order for pure healing energy to be
positively transmitted, the healer's emotional energy must be dissolved.
Scorpio's life lesson is: serve or suffer.
My recommendation is to stop expecting more openness and learn
ways to lovingly accept that we all give of ourselves in different ways and
there are no right or wrong ways. Learn to appreciate all the creative, sensual,
passionate acts that your Scorpio lover does demonstrate and rest assured that
her openness or lack of openness is not an indicator of anything wrong in your
relationship.
Cancer tends to believe it knows what's best for others and
wants to nurture/smother others into responding the way they need to be
responded to and this can have the reverse effect. Focus on what you both value:
creativity, sensuality, emotional energy (Scorpio's emotional energy is the
proverbial tip of the iceberg, but it can't be forced out), relationship,
material acquisition, personal appearance and psychic realms.
I'm including a poem I wrote that helps me in my relationship
with my lover and as women it's especially useful since feminine energy tends to
identify itself by our relationships. Relationships are healing opportunities to
reveal all areas within us that keep us from being completely loving.
Letter #2:
I read your above article and was really impressed by your
analysis of zodiac signs. My wife is an Aries who is born on April 12 , and what
you mentioned are her qualities. I ( Gemini born on May 23) get very upset about
her lack of concern for others and absolute carelessness. She does also says I
AM & I very often which upsets me.
My concern is also that she does not respond to my good
gestures and advice to improve our lifestyles. We have a daughter who will be 3
years old (born on June 26). I don't want my daughter to get influenced by her
mother's behavior so I often tell my wife to change her attitude and manners,
which she ignores and gives me a hard time not talking to me for many days and
giving cold responses.
Having said about many bad qualities, she also has many good
qualities viz she is generous , trusting nature , humble etc
Please , please help me by telling me how to communicate better
with her. Trust you will give me more tips to improve my relationship.
Dear Gemini,
Aries is the hardest energy pattern for a woman so my first
recommendation is to extend some consideration to your Aries wife because she
deals with internal struggles that most of us cannot appreciate and even she may
not be conscious of the source of her frustrations. Mars (the ruler of Aries) is
a combative, destructive, forceful energy and when it lives inside of a
feminine, receptive, passive vessel (a woman's body) it's a battle.
When you interject yourself by complaining, directing and
criticizing her behaviors a chemical reaction occurs: oxygen (air, Gemini) is
being added to fire and we get: more fire. More Aries. More of what you're
trying to minimize. The best way to initiate change of any kind is to model.
Quietly, Gemini, which I realize is not your strong suit.
Recognize that like parenting, children learn what they live
and since the energy pattern of Aries is so child-like, they will follow by
loving example out of a natural desire to please. Forcing a Ram to try to do
anything is going to bring you the same result as if you were to grab the real
animal ram by the horns. You have no way of knowing what your daughter needs to
learn in this life and by condemning your wife's influence you are creating a
bad example yourself.
My suggestion is to back off, be as appreciative as possible of
the qualities you want to enhance and try for three weeks not saying anything
critical. Be the loving example you want her to be.
Remember, the greatest gift we can give our kids is to love
their other parent. Your daughter is close to the cusp, but I'm guessing sun
sign Cancer so she is one psychic little creature and is picking up on
EVERYTHING that goes on in her world and misses nothing. Your daughter's
emotional nature is strong and her moods may be subject to swings that will be
dramatized by disturbances in her environment. Utilize your mental energy to
neutralize/diffuse the emotional episodes that occur. Don't be reactive; be
responsible in your actions; don't aggravate the situation; step in as a calm,
stable mediator and firmly and kindly re-direct everyone to stable ground.
Your Aries wife will respond positively to praise, affection,
romance, surprises, spontaneity, supportive listening (which means you be silent
and don't try to fix anything) and your vote of confidence in her
accomplishments. I'm going to take a wild guess here and speculate that some of
your pent up energy is perhaps due to frustrated sexual energy. Your needs
aren't getting met and you "explode" emotionally because there's no
opportunity to release/explode sexually.
This one's going to be in your court Gemini, because your Aries
woman needs guidance in this realm. She needs more reassurance of her femininity
than you can comprehend and you really need to just keep pouring on the charm.
You have it, Gemini, use it for the good of your marriage and your role models
as lovers to your child. Also, you mentioned some positives and I would
encourage you to focus on this. Aries and Gemini are great playmates and your
moody (and you'll soon see almost gloomy) Cancer child will benefit greatly from
playful, patient parenting. So, lighten up a bit, teach by example and dazzle
your Aries woman right into your loving arms.
As always: Your Will Is Your Life!
Please feel free to ask me questions about astrology: you can write me at: astrohealth@Storiesbyemail.com.
©2004 StoriesByEmail.com
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