When Love Calls You Home, Part 22
by Kandy Williams

“Well, he’s finally asleep,” Elizabeth said as she joined Brock in the living room.

Even though he’d heard that Cody would mend and be all right, Daniel still had a hard time dealing with the fact that he could’ve killed his best friend. Elizabeth continually assured him that everything would be fine, and that Daniel would feel better tomorrow, when he could see Cody. In the meantime, she’d stayed with him until he could fall asleep.

Nathan had been just as agitated, but the unexpected presence and comfort of his father soothed him instantly. In fact, he’d become quieted by the day’s events, and savored every moment by his father’s side. It wasn’t until Brock tucked him into bed that Nathan left him.

Exhausted, Elizabeth sank onto the sofa. She glanced at Brock and was taken aback when she realized that he was reading the family Bible.

“You know, when I heard that shot today,” Brock began to say once he felt his wife’s disbelieving stare, “the first thing I that went through my mind was Buck. I thought for sure that he’d taken one of his ornery pranks too far and gotten himself shot. So the whole time I’m running to get to him, the only thing I can do is pray, ‘Please God, let Buck be all right, let me have one more chance; don’t let me lose another child’.” Brock paused so he could catch his breath; he removed his reading glasses and dabbed his eyes. “And when I got to the school and found him standing there, I was so grateful, and I promised myself then and there that things would be different.”

Elizabeth turned away, unable to look at him. Her heart was so scarred from years of emotional neglect that she almost didn’t care what Brock had to say. All she did care about was her boys, and that they were safe.

“When Michael drowned four years ago, I blamed you,” Brock said with a painful honesty. “I blamed you for letting him go off with the other kids to swim, and I thought it was your fault that he wasn’t a better swimmer and couldn’t get untangled from that brush.”

This wasn’t startling to Elizabeth; she’d known all along that Brock had blamed her, even though he never said it. After their son’s death, Brock never went to her, never held her, comforted her or needed her in any way. Instead, he shut her out, ignored her and rarely spoke to her. Elizabeth lost all faith, and love became an empty, meaningless word to her.

“Then I made another mistake,” Brock continued, while Elizabeth tried to hide her tears, “I let you blame God, and I let our family grow cold and distant. Before I knew it, Buck was out causing chaos and his little brother was tagging right along. And I didn’t care. It was almost like I was waiting for another tragedy to happen, so I could have something else to be mad about.

“But when I heard that shot, when I heard it, and knew there was a chance that my son could’ve been hurt, I begged God for it not to be true. And despite everything I’ve done wrong over the past four years, despite all the anger and neglect I’ve treated you with, He still heard me. That made me think of the scripture where God promises never to leave you nor forsake you.”

Brock stared at the Bible, and perhaps for the first time ever, he believed the words it contained were filled with power and truth. He believed that more now than when he’d been a faithful church-goer.

“I’ve seen Buck change a great deal in a short amount of time, and it’s all because of this,” he said, still focused on the Bible. “I want to change too. I want to trust in God again, I want to know peace, and I want to be a better man, like my son.”

“And what are you going to do, Brock, when trouble comes your way? Blame God again? Walk away and pout like a child, and make sure that everyone around you is miserable too?” Elizabeth made no attempt to hide the bitterness in her words. She got up, intending to storm out of the room, but Brock snatched her by the hand; it was one of the very few times that he’d touched her in four years.

“Elizabeth.” His voice was so tender and reaching that she thought she might faint. “I was wrong. I was so wrong. I think back to the way things were, when we spent time together as a family, when we prayed together, went to church, and I want it to be like that again. I want to get to know my sons again, and I want the two of us to be close again.”

“How can that happen when we don’t even love each other any more?” she asked scornfully. How she longed to hit him! She wanted nothing more than to lash out at him and to give him a small taste of the pain she’d carried for years.

“I can understand why you feel that way, and you’re right. It’s been a long time since we’ve treated each other with love and respect. But Elizabeth, can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me, and to somehow give me a second chance at being a better husband and father?” Desperate, he fell to his knees with her hand in his, and was practically begging her.

“I’m sure the boys would like nothing better than to have your love and attention again. But it just seems like it’s too late for us.” She stared at the floor, her hand limp within his, and she felt that old familiar feeling of numbness settle in.

“Please don’t give up on me. I know I don’t deserve it, but please give me another chance,” Brock pleaded. He stood up and took her into his arms.

Elizabeth wanted away from him, but Brock wouldn’t let her go.

“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered. Regardless of their hardships, Elizabeth wanted to forgive her husband, deep down in her heart, and she wanted to fall in love again and to feel what it was like to be alive. At the same time though, she was terrified of being hurt once more; Fear was trying to suffocate her potential to forgive.

“I have an idea then. Why don’t we talk to the pastor and see if he can help us,” Brock offered.

“I don’t know if I can.”

“I don’t know if I can either, but let’s try. It’s going to take some time for all of us to heal, and we can’t do it on our own. And though I may never understand why Michael died, I’m ready to lean on the Lord, and to trust in His ways.”

“I want that too, but I don’t know how…”

“Then let’s meet with pastor Tom. I’m sure he can help us.”

Elizabeth nodded, and Brock drew her close to him. He held her for a long time and whispered his apologies. Then, slowly, Elizabeth placed her arms around her husband and gently returned his affection.

©2004 StoriesByEmail.com

Nolan Chart