CONFLICT AND STUTTER
Forty minutes into the ride to the city, I still had not thought of what I was going to say to Conflict. I needed my words to be firm, yet sensitive. Basically, I needed her to know that what happened was a mistake and it couldn't happen again. But, I didn't want to upset her because I didn't want One Punch coming after to me. I hoped desperately that I could find the right words.
I was deep in thought, and the "Aquemini" c.d. was loud, when the phone rang and brought me back to reality. My worrying over what to say to Conflict had proved to be entirely needless. It wasn't going to matter very much what I said to her when I decided to call, because she was on the phone now.
Conflict began the conversation, the way a sniper begins his hunt. She fired questions at me that had no relation to the pertinent issue. But, with each question, she was trying to get me to step out and feel her direct assault. The first question was obvious. " How are you?" I decided to be honest, but abrupt. I responded by saying, "Fine, thanks". She returned the silence after my answer with a courteous, but annoyed, "How was your week?" I decided that I could also play this game. I said, " Fine, how was yours?" The reply to her question, and the quick follow up question I was about to ask, were my attempt to take control of this conversation. I started to say, "What's going on", but she interrupted by asking, " What's the deal with us?"
Did you hear the record skip and scratch when she asked that question? I could swear that I could hear the skip. I really didn't expect her to be so blunt over the phone, and I hoped that One was nowhere around her. I opened my mouth and hoped that the right words would just fall out. Instead, I said what any good monkey would say, " I don't know".
Conflict decided that she hadn't quite shocked me enough with her straight-forwardness. She decided to try again. She came right out and said, " I am not a slut".
I was flabbergasted. I didn't know how to respond. I didn't even know if I should respond. I thought long and hard during the awkward silence that followed her question. Conflict broke the silence by asking if I agreed with her? I said that I did agree with her. Then she asked me what my problem was? I wish I had the answer to that one. I really did. I had to tell her, that, even though she was a very beautiful and sweet girl, it could never work between us. I explained how I had a girlfriend and that her brother would never allow us to be together.
The moment I mentioned her brother, she fired a gut shot. These types of shots probably won't kill you, but they hurt like hell. She said, " Are you scared of my brother"?
I let the silence answer my question. Obviously I was. The only person I knew that wasn't scared of One, was No. No wasn't scared of anybody. After the silence, she asked me if we could meet somewhere and talk? I agreed that we needed to sit down and talk this over, but I said I needed a little time to think of the best and most appropriate place. She agreed. We talked for another moment or two about unimportant issues. When the conversation was over, I told her I would call her with a reservation for lunch tomorrow, and then I would come by and pick her up. I knew that One worked during the day, so I could pick her up without him being there.
Just as I was about to hang up the phone, Conflict decided to fire one last shot. This was the "head" shot. As I was saying, "Talk to you later", she fired her shot.
She said, "I'm pregnant", and hung up the phone. I heard complete silence for a moment and then hung up the phone. I turned the radio back on as loud as it would go, and drove on. Her final shot had mortally wounded me.
Before I did anything else, I needed to go see Stutter Step and acquire my " dog".
Stutter was the weirdest man that I had ever met. He would stare at a person while they talked with these big brown eyes that seemed to constantly water. And, just like his name would lead you to believe, he always stuttered.
It usually took about forty seconds to understand a sentence when Stutter spoke. But, where most people dance around a topic and never get to the point, Stutter always got to the point. I imagine a lifetime of having a severe stutter would make anyone be as brief as possible when they spoke. The other thing that made Stutter so bizarre was that he was too smart. Sometimes he would make the most profound statements, but the people around him would be lost on his meaning. Let me be honest. My friends are criminals. We are not the brightest bulbs on the Christmas tree. Stutter would say these incredibly insightful things, and only be met by blank stares from the intellectually challenged. He would never try to elaborate further because he just didn't have the patience to stutter his way through a pointless lesson.
For just that reason, Stutter really liked me. I am a pretty intelligent guy, and could actually understand a majority of what Stutter was trying to say. But, sometimes, I thought that Stutter said things that couldn't be understood.
When I got to Stutter's apartment, he was sitting at his table, shuffling cards and staring directly at me. I removed my jacket and sat across from him. Without saying a word, he placed the deck in the middle of the table and acknowledged that I may go first. I reached for the first card and it was an eight of spades. I kept the card and tossed the next to the out pile. Stutter went next, putting his first card in the discard pile and keeping the next automatically. We repeated this process until the deck was empty. We were ready to play spades.
I started the game with an Ace of Hearts. Stutter threw the ten of Hearts. I threw the Queen and bled the Jack of Hearts from him. I smiled at this, but Stutter didn't. Next, I threw the Jack of Diamonds, which promptly saw the Queen of Diamonds. That brought a smile to Stutter's face. He thought he could now throw the Ace of Diamonds and take an easy book. He did just that, but I trumped it with the three of Spades. I didn't look at Stutter, but I imagine he was staring a hole right through me. Now that I had broken trump, I could use my Spade arsenal to bleed out his cards.
I led with the Big Jake and Stutter threw the seven of Spades. It was tough to tell if he had any good Spades by his card, but I decided to go on with my plan. I threw the two of Diamonds, the third highest card in the deck. Stutter threw the Little Jake, and pulled his second book to the pile.
Excited at the prospect that he had finally gained control of the game, Stutter threw the Ace of Clubs. I threw the eight of Clubs. Stutter threw the Jack of Hearts, but I trumped him with the five of Spades.
Now that I had regained control, it was time to bleed some more Spades from his hand. I led with the Two of Spades, which was the highest card left in the deck. Stutter threw the ten of Spades. This was a relatively high card, so I knew I was starting to bleed him out of Spades. I had the Ace and the King of Spades, so I knew I was going to win. I decided that I could end the game now. I threw the Ace of Spades and Stutter threw the nine of Diamonds. He was out of trump. I threw the King of Spades, and he threw the seven of Hearts.
Hoping that Stutter didn't have any high Clubs, I threw the Jack. Stutter pounded on the table, smiled and threw the ten of Clubs.
Just to add insult to injury, I threw my last card, the four of Spades. Stutter threw his useless King of Diamonds. I had just beaten Stutter eleven to two in spades.
With a truly wise-ass grin, I looked at Stutter. He was staring intently at me. He backed up from the table and walked out of the room. He came back with a small Nike shoebox, and placed it in front of me.
Figuring that Stutter didn't want to haggle over price, I pulled out a wad of hundreds and started to peel them off, one at a time. After the first hundred hit the table, Stutter motioned to me that he didn't want the money. I put my hands up in the air to indicate my confusion, but Stutter pointed at the cards and clapped at my victory.
One of the reasons Stutter likes to deal with me is that I never argue of make him repeat himself. Such was the case here when I put my money back into my pocket.
Stutter decided that it was time to tell me some of the weird things he had discovered, since the last time we discussed the weird things he has discovered. He went into a long-winded dissertation about cable television. Stutter told me that originally, when our parents had television, all of the stations came in perfectly clear. When the cable companies began to set up their wires, was when the receptions went bad. That caused everyone to get cable. People were forced to get cable to get the reception they had before cable. What a conspiracy that was.
It took Stutter ten minutes to tell this story. I didn't know if I totally agreed with this idea, but I thought it was worth looking into.
I asked Stutter if he had anything else to do for the evening? He said "no", and moments later we were in the car on the way to Pretty Boy's. I needed to smoke, and thought Stutter would enjoy the cipher. As usual, he was quiet the whole drive.
Poser's Dictionary
Z- an ounce of weed
BLIZZ- marijuana rolled into a “Philly Blunt”
LOOK AT A DOG- to purchase a gun
BOUT IT- willing to do, eager to do
©2002 StoriesByEmail.com
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