The Naked Trip
John met Paul, the beach Priest after a second visit to the beach. The priest recommended that he should take a bath at the Atlantic Ocean beach to wash his sins away. John later informed Hain what transpired between him and Paul. The priest told him that he had seen the future and that his problems with the forces of darkness would be over. Hain too was very much willing to meet the priest too for spiritual consultation with the Creator on his behalf to find a solution to his own problems too. Two days later, Hain also met the priest at the beach.
"What exactly is the problem?" Asked Paul, the priest.
"I just do not understand what has been happening to me. I feel that there is something that is wrong with the neighborhood where I live. Every night I know that there is an intense activity of night animals in that area. I cannot explain what is going on," said Hain.
"In that case, you will need something to fortify yourself," the priest advised.
"I will like that," Hain said.
The priest later prescribed a solution of beach bath for Hain too. He assured him that once he takes a bath at the beach, he would be fortified and be able to confront all the powers of darkness that may want to attack him. Hain paid his consultation and prescription fees to the priest and left with John. While they were driving home, John and Hain agreed on the day they would visit the beach to take the spiritual bath. They chose the following Saturday because they felt that few people would come to the beach at night on a weekend.
That Saturday, both of them jumped into the car and raced to the ocean to clean themselves spiritually. At the beach it was already dark and everyone had left the shoreline. It was quiet, except for the rumbling of the tremulous sea that was beating the sandy coast. The lights from buildings faraway shone on the sea, but no one could recognize the people at the beach. John and Hain overheard a woman giving instructions to a priest on the parts of her body he should bathe. The woman further complained loudly that her husband must not find out that another man was giving her spiritual bathe.
"Who says that we priests reveal the identities of our customers and the people we bathe? No priest worth his salt will ever do that," said the unknown priest.
"You are scrubbing that part too much. The sponge is too thick, you know," cautioned the woman.
"But you bought it," the priest replied her.
John and Hain observed the figure of the woman and the priest few yards away in the dark. But they did not recognize them.
The woman continued bathing. Hain and John undressed just near the shore water. They had a bucket. They fetched water from the sea and began to bathe at once. Whenever the water finished, they would return to the sea to fetch more water. John brought out what the priest told them was a specially made sponge and began to scrub his body. Hain did the same thing.
While the bathing was going on, he remembered the young man he saw few days earlier bathing at the beach in broad daylight. He felt that theirs was much better because they were bathing at night and no one would be able to identify him. He recalled the comment of the horseman who wondered if the man had committed sins worse than the one committed by Judas Iscariot.
"If the man was not Judas, what had he really done to warrant such a high level spiritual wash?" John wondered without saying a word to Hain who was bathing beside him.
The sea continued to rumble. The goddess of the sea, Yemoja was very happy at the bottom of the sea where she had her magnificent and palatial mansion. She was a woman of immense beauty with very long hair flowing on her shoulders. With her were her beautiful daughters. They looked just like her. The daughters were summoned to have a look at the men taking their bath on top of their roof, above.
"Waoh! This is amazing," said Meoma one of the goddess' daughters.
"Very amazing. The man that we have been looking for has come to our doorstep to take a shower," said Angina another daughter.
"One of our members out there in the world who is a priest informed them that they need spiritual bath to wash away their sins. They have foolishly come here to have their bath. What is annoying is that one of them impregnated my daughter and refused to own up and he has come to take a spiritual bath. What an insult! I will deal with them!" vowed the goddess.
"These humans can be very arrogant. They do not have respect for anyone," Meoma retorted again.
"I have really been watching them for long and contending with their insults. I sit down here in my mansion without offending them and they throw garbage on my house. Some would even come here to wash their stinking bodies in expectation that their sins will be washed away. How can those having their bath above expect me to allow my water to carry their sins away? One of them has even refused to own up to the pregnancy one of my daughters had for him," said Yemoja.
"The one that beats my imagination is when they stand above and urinate on our roof while taking their bath, " Angina said.
"The urine is not as bad as the excreta that they empty on us from their bowels. Those wastes? Hmm. They stink," said Meoma.
"That is why I really get angry with those humans. The most disheartening thing is when my tiny fishes feed on their wastes without knowing that these people may have put poison in them. Many have died as a result of consumption of the toxic materials," said Yemoja.
" Mother, let us deal with those ones having their bath right now. Maybe this will teach them a lesson not to come here and wash their stinking bodies on us," said Angina.
" I am particularly angry with the one that disowned our sister who was pregnant for him. This is the opportunity to teach him a lesson in his lifetime," said Meoma.
"Should we deal with him alone or lump him together with others? Asked Angina.
"It is better to deal with them together. When they get home they will tell their neighbors how they have been dealt with and those ones will never commit the same sin again," the goddess said.
John and Hain and the two other unknown faces continued to engage in the spiritual bath along the beach. They did not know that the sea goddess and her daughters in their mansion below had taken a decision. On top of the sea were ships sailing on a long voyage between the Pacific and the Atlantic. They too did not know that such a life existed below in the sea. The sea goddess and her daughters mapped out their plans and decided to carry them out.
"Quickly get a test tube," ordered Yemoja.
"Where are we keeping them?" Asked Angina.
"In the store near the kitchen," said Meoma.
Angina rushed to the store and brought a box of test tubes from where they picked them and began to collect water from the droplets that drained from the spiritual bath being taken above. As this went on, there was great joy in the sea below.
"Girls, have you finished?" Asked the goddess.
"Yes, we have finished," they answered.
"We have to deal with them in a shameful way that they will never forget," Yemoja vowed.
She stepped out of her fortress, followed by her daughters. The water was running all over them but they were not soaked. As they stepped out, there was a thunderous uproar in the sea and the fishes were seen turning back in opposite direction. They knew through the currents that their goddess was stepping out of her mansion and according to rules of the sea, they dare not see her face to face.
The fishes that could come close to her were whales and dolphins because they too are very higher and intelligent sea animals. As she stood at the entrance watching the vast sea with her daughters, Yemoja ordered the sea to boil over and wreak a specific havoc on those taking their bath on the beach.
"I command you waters to boil very well and disgrace those people bathing above us,"she ordered.
The sea obeyed her orders and began to boil fiercely but those who were taking their bath at the beach still did not know that they were under any threat. The fishes immediately knew that there were changes in the current and that the sea goddess was angry. Everyone, including other sea animals, fled in different directions and changed their swimming pattern. But those who were at the beach continued to scrub their bodies with the notion that they were washing their sins away.
The seawater hit the shoreline with great velocity. It washed over the garments which Hain and John removed from their bodies and soaked them. Because it was dark, no one knew what was going on except the creatures under the sea. The water returned to the sea. It came back again with more force and soaked the dresses but it did not have enough force to carry the dresses.
The seawater returned to the beach the third time and this time around, it appeared that it had no pity for anyone. It carried all dresses found at the beach away to the waiting hands of Yemoja and her daughters who jubilated. About this time, John and Hain finished their spiritual bath and were ready to leave.
They strolled to where their dresses were left on the sand and found that they were not on the spot. They first thought it was nothing serious and they would still see them but they soon found out that they were wrong. They looked everywhere and found nothing. They were then alarmed. They thought thieves must have stolen the dresses but later changed their minds when they realized that no one had come near the area when they were bathing.
"The sea must have carried the dresses away," affirmed John.
"This is very dangerous," said Hain looking puzzled.
"We are really in trouble. What are we going to do now?" Asked John as they looked aimlessly at the vast sea.
Both of them were at crossroads and they did not know what to do. They came to the sea to have spiritual bath to wash away their sins. But the matter was complicated by the disappearance of their dresses. They began to think quickly of how to get out of this inexplicable trouble.
"How are we going to get home now? Naked?" Asked a worried Hain.
"Let's look around to see if anyone left some garments at the beach," said John.
They looked everywhere desperately but found nothing to cover their bodies. The other priest was seen bathing the woman at one side of the beach without an idea of the predicament John and Hain found themselves.
"May be we will be able to find something in the car to cover ourselves. Even if there are no dresses there, if you find newspapers there, they will cover this shame," said Hain.
"There are no dresses in the car," John confirmed.
"This is deep shit," Hain said.
"What are we going to do now?" Asked John.
"The best thing for now is to walk naked to the car and see if we can cover ourselves. But if we cannot, we have to drive home like this," said Hain.
"I believe that is the best thing to do because we cannot continue to stay at the beach with the breeze blowing across our naked chests. It's getting cold. Besides, it is going to be a greater shame if the day breaks and we are still here like this," John added.
The two men were really in trouble because they lived about five miles away from the beach. Worse, there were traffic bottlenecks up till midnight in Freedomtown. It was a very unpredictable city. They wondered what would be their fate even if they got into the car and found nothing to cover their bodies. They however walked towards the car hoping to find a solution to their problems. As they walked on, they heard the voice of the beach priest as he gyrated and chanted some strange words that no one knew the meanings.
When they finally got to the car, they were happy to find the key to the ignition on the keyhole. They thought that the situation could have been worse if they had kept the key inside the dresses that were carried away by the ocean.
"Thank God, the ignition key is there. What would have happened if the sea washed the key away?" Asked Hain
"We would have walked home naked. And that would have been disastrous in this town where you have many policemen prowling the streets looking for bandits," said John.
They sat in the car without the knowledge that the sea goddess who felt offended that one of them had abused one of her daughters on earth triggered the sea to carry their dresses away. As they sat in the car naked they felt that someone would come to their rescue with the missing dresses or any other dress to cover their bodies. But no one showed up.
They looked into the car and found some old newspapers they thought would provide a temporary relief. They covered part of their bodies with the newspapers. Afterwards, they heard some people humming towards them. John and Hain kept quiet. When the people humming got to them, they discovered that it was the priest and the woman that was having spiritual bath.
"Can you please help us? The sea carried our dresses away. We are sorry for this embarrassment. Please help us to get home out of this shame," pleaded Joel, the beach priest.
"We are also facing the same problem. Our garments were also washed away. We are naked. You can open the back doors and enter. We will see what we can do to help you," John answered them.
In his mind, he reflected on how the voice of Joel, the beach priest echoed in his ears when he requested for a ride. It was like the story of God calling Adam in the Garden of Eden. The four passengers rode on nakedly without saying anything to one another. They were no doubt scared and they did not know what was on each other's mind. Besides, they were not comfortable with this kind of naked ride and what people might say if they were seen together. There was however no traffic on the highway as they rode on and they were relieved.
'This is shit!" Said Joel breaking the deep silence in the vehicle as they rode on.
"It's really a big shit," John added.
"I am really afraid of what my husband will say if I am caught in this kind of situation?" Said the lady.
"I thought both of you are husband and wife," said Hain.
'No. I am a priest and she is a member of my congregation. I came to give her a good spiritual bath," Joel informed them.
"What will happen if you are caught in this situation by her husband?" John asked the priest.
"What in your mind do you think a man in his position will do?" Asked Joel.
"He will kill you!" Hain volunteered.
" I hope it does not happen. The man will brandish a cutlass at the suitor and not wait for any legal redress," said John.
"That's why I cannot quantify the great assistance you have offered us today," said Joel.
"What is the time now?" Asked the lady.
"Nine o'clock," answered John.
"Yeah! My husband must have been home by now. I do not know what I will tell him if I am caught. I really have to be careful and find a way of sneaking into the house, if not, he will kill me tonight," said the lady.
"What job does your husband do?" Asked Hain.
"He works with the railroad department in the city. But I run a restaurant in the heart of Komodo Street downtown. What you have done for us today cannot be quantified. I hope that you guys will come once in a while to my restaurant," said the woman.
"That is kind of you,"said John.
"Thank you very much. Expect us anytime," said Hain.
As they drove on, the lady continued to talk. She complained that it was her husband that pushed her into going for a spiritual bath to solve their matrimonial problems. She said that she was determined to save her marriage and that was why she went for prayers regularly at the beach.
"I would have left him long ago if not for two reasons,"said the lady.
"And what are the reasons?" Asked Hain.
"First, because of his emotional outburst. And before I knew it, I had my first child for him and now we have seven and I cannot leave again," she said.
"What do you mean by emotional outburst?" Asked John.
He used to weep profusely before we got married, begging me not to leave him. My friends who knew how he used to weep before me called him, "The Weeping Gnome." You know, the local people call him Egbere, the gnome that people believe used to roam the forests weeping with mucus dripping from his nostrils and carrying a mat on his head," she joked amidst laughter.
"Weeping like a gnome?" Asked John.
"Yes. He wept like a Gnome," joked Hain
"Interesting. Did he carry a mat on his head like a Gnome?" Asked the priest amidst thunderous laughter.
"He did not have a mat," replied the lady.
" I am sure that if she had that, you could have been the one to grab it from him to make money and you will not be complaining today that you want to leave him," said Hain.
"Why?" Asked John.
"Don't you know that those Gnomes are very rare to come by? They roam the forests and they run away from human beings because they know that people target their mats. Anyone who is lucky to grab the mat of a Gnome is destined to become a millionaire," said Joel, the beach priest.
"I did not know that. Tell me more, what do they look like?" asked John.
"They are short creatures and they are very swift. Hunters have encountered them in the tropical rain forests. The gnomes guarded their mats jealously. They were endangered, if not gone into extinction when automobiles spewed carbon dioxide and monoxide around the globe. I heard that they hate these fumes and they may have been driven to another planet with their treasured mats," said Joel.
"Hm. Those people in other planets will be enjoying them and the wealth in their mats now that the inhabitants of this earth have driven out the gnomes and their mats with pollution," John said.
By the time John finished speaking, they ran into a police checking point on the road. They did not know that the police were checking vehicles along this route. They were flagged down by police officers. The officers did not know what they were about to see in the vehicles. The police officers walked close to them and flashed their light into the car. The officers were dazed and they almost collapsed at the sight of nude people in the car.
"You people are the thieves we have been looking for?" The officers said.
"Which thieves?" Asked John with fear.
"The thieves we mounted a roadblock to arrest. There was a robbery a few minutes ago and we are looking for the thieves," said the police sergeant.
"You are the thieves," said a police corporal.
"We are not thieves," said Hain who was very much afraid.
"If you are not thieves, why are you naked?" Asked the sergeant.
"We went to the beach for spiritual bath and the sea carried our dresses away. We are not thieves," retorted John.
"When thieves are caught, are they not stripped in this city?" Asked the corporal.
"Yes they are stripped but we are not the thieves you are looking for," said Joel.
"You, who are you? Can you identify yourself?" Asked the sergeant.
"I am a priest. My spiritual kiosk is situated along the beach and this woman is a customer I was treating with spiritual bath," said Joel.
"You no doubt will be charged with indecent exposure in the public. When you get to the court, tell the judge that you bathed a woman at the beach. Is she your wife?" asked the sergeant.
There was silence. Then John summoned courage.
"Truly sergeant, we went to the beach for spiritual bath. It was there that the ocean carried our dresses away," John later explained.
"Park your vehicle into that place properly. We need to check you properly,"said the sergeant.
John moved the vehicle to a safe corner and parked as the policemen walked to them to verify their identities. The men and the lady in the vehicle had begun to sweat profusely all over their bodies. They knew that anything could happen from their encounter with the police.
"I am scared of police problems," whispered Hain.
"I wish they were not on the highway when we are naked like this," said the lady.
"Can I see your particulars?" Asked the sergeant.
"These are the particulars," said John after opening the hole in the dashboard of the car.
The officer switched on his light and looked through the papers properly. He was convinced they were genuine papers but he thought of embarrassing them.
"Do you all know each other before?" He asked.
"No, we met at the beach today. Both of us here in front seats are friends and we met these two people at the back seat at the beach," said John.
"I now order all of you to step out for proper search on your persons," said the sergeant.
"Sir, please bear with us. There is really nothing to search on us. We are naked and you can see. Please spare us," pleaded Hain.
The sergeant and the corporal laughed energetically. The occupants of the vehicle did not know what to do. They just stared aimlessly into the dark night.
"You guys are just lucky that you met us in the right mood today. I would have marched you to the court like this," thundered the sergeant as he looked into their eyes.
"Now move away from here!" He hollered.
John zoomed off immediately. They were relieved later as they drove on the highway away from the policemen. The police then walked towards their vehicle.
That night, there was a robbery at the Cough 2000 International Inc. by Whirlwind's robbery gang. They had carried out the robbery on the orders of their leader who did not accompany them. The gang stole all the money that they found in the company including the passport belonging to Maxwell, the expatriate who worked in the company. The passport was stolen by one of the thieves who did not disclose what he had taken to other members.
Meanwhile, the thieves drove pass the policemen without any suspicion. The unsuspecting officers went to their vehicle to make radio messages. The happiest amongst the robbers was a man called Agama. He had stolen the passport belonging to Maxwell inside his drawer in the office when they ransacked the place. But his colleagues did not see him and he did not intend to tell them about this important document.
"Fox One calling headquarters, confirm, over!" Screamed the officer into the microphone at the police checking point.
"Headquarters responding," a voice answered from the other end.
"We have mounted the roadblock but we have not seen any thief," said the sergeant.
"OK. I can hear you, over," said the voice.
"We only saw four naked people in a car," said the police officer.
"Look for the thieves and not naked people. Can you hear me? Over," said the voice.
"That's alright. We are still on the look out. Over," said the sergeant.
John and his passengers drove through the streets straight to the home of the beach priest and dropped him in front of the house. The priest thanked John and Hain. There was no light in his house because the public electricity company had just switched off electricity.
"Thank you very much and I hope we will be able to meet again," said Joel as he disappeared into the compound under the cover of darkness.
"He is very lucky that there was no light when we got to his house. I pray that I will be as lucky," said the lady as the car zoomed off towards her house.
Five minutes later, they arrived her place and discovered that it was also in total darkness. There was no electricity there too. The woman also thanked them and vanished into the darkness. John headed home straightaway hoping that there would be no light also in their neighborhood.
They got to the place shortly after and discovered that there was no electricity supply to that part of the town too. John quickly switched off the light of the car so that no one would know that he had arrived home. They thought they were lucky too as the vehicle came to a halt. They opened the doors quietly and walked inside the house. As they walked in, they were almost fallen down by a strange movement. They were scared first, only to find out that it was Jack, the strange dog that came to welcome them. Just around a corner of the house were four puppies delivered by the dog. They were really not bothered about the dog as they walked inside to find dresses to put on. They did not say one word to each other. They just went to bed.
** * * * *
Amanda, their boss was at the cattle market to buy a cow for the naming ceremony of his new baby. The cattle seller who had seen him coming out of a very big Cadillac knew that only a rich man would be able to afford such a car. He ran out of his shed away from the cattle and called on Amanda who was unlocking his seat belt. Amanda looked at him and asked him if he had good and big cows for sale. The cow seller told him that he had big fat cows and was willing to sell to him. He led Amanda to where the cows were tied. Amanda looked at the cows and chose the biggest one in the pack. He then began to haggle over the price of the cows as was customary.
'How much is this one?" asked Amanda looking at the big cow.
"It will cost you two hundred dollars," said the cow seller.
"Wahoo! That's costly. Two hundred dollars! For one cow!" Exclaimed Amanda.
"Yes. It is two hundred dollars," said the cattle seller.
"I think I better check other sellers," he said.
"Tell me how much you can afford to pay," said the cattle seller.
Amanda did not talk. He ruminated and finally made up his mind.
"What about paying sixty dollars?" He asked the cow seller.
"That will be alright. You can pay sixty dollars," said the cattle seller. It was a low price and it was unprofitable to him but he still asked Amanda to pay.
Amanda looked up towards the sky, brushed his hair and spoke.
"What about paying forty dollars?" He asked the cattle seller.
The cow seller was pissed off. He knew that Amanda was a miser who was unwilling to part with his money. But he still urged him on to find out how miserly the rich man was.
"What about paying twenty dollars?" Amanda asked again.
The cow seller was utterly disgusted but before he could utter a word, the cow that was being priced spoke to the amazement of everyone.
"Amandaaaaaa!" Screamed the cow.
Amanda was flabbergasted. What the cow did was beyond human comprehension. He almost collapsed when the cow said; "This is disgusting! How dare you haggle over me ridiculously like that!"
The cattle seller did not utter a word again. Amanda ran up from his bed screaming. He discovered that he had been dreaming all along. Although he was scared, he felt that some enemies of his business conglomerate sent the cow into his dream to attack him. He did not feel any remorse because he actually haggled over things like that in reality. He found it difficult to sleep again that night. He went to his sitting room and began to fidget with all that his hands could reach. It was while this was going on that the bell on his door rang. Amanda looked at those behind the door and found that it was the police. They came to inform him that a robbery had taken place in his office earlier that day. He raced to the scene of the theft that night with the police to carry out the investigation into the robbery.
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