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The chemotherapy started five weeks after that day in the "little room with the magazines". John noticed that people stared at Amber when she walked the streets after the fist couple of sessions of the chemotherapy. It was possible that they were very curious why a beautiful woman would be bald, but, either way their looks made Amber embarrassed and she felt more alone in her battle. John hated to think that his wife looked at her battle as a lone effort. He wanted to show her that he was going to fight with her, side by side, until the day that he died. With that, John shaved his head bald. "Let them stare at both of us", was what he said to his wife when she laid eyes upon her bald husband. She had never thought he looked more beautiful as her eyes filled with tears and she embraced the man she loved with all her heart. John felt the tears coming, but fought them back as best as he could. He didn't need to cry in front of his wife, she needed somebody to be strong with her.
"It's you and me forever", he said through a choked voice.
John had reached the last summit before the top when he decided to take a quick rest. He felt good, strong and fully able to finish the climb. At times during the climb, he felt exhausted, his body ready to quit. But, he knew that he wasn't making this climb for himself, it was for another. That gave him the strength to push himself beyond his best effort. He had a goal to achieve, something he had promised to do, and nothing was going to stop him from finishing.
He ate lunch on the snowy summit, his only company the forceful wind and the thoughts of Amber. She was always with him, in his mind and in his heart. On the mountain, when the loneliness and cold would break most people, John was comforted by his memories of his wife. To prove that the thought of her warmed him, the tears that ran down his cheeks were warm.
This was the last stop before the top of the mountain. The helicopter still needed to be called, the pictures needed to be taken, the images conveyed. The local news in Denver had heard about the man that was climbing the mountain for his wife, and they wanted to see it. It was going to be on the news, top story, carried live all over the country. He didn't care.
He was going to reach the top of the mountain, with or without the news. It was a promise he had made to his wife. He never broke his promises to her.
In the end, the doctors had removed one of her lungs, and most of her esophagus. Amber had always been a trim and fit one-hundred and fifteen lbs. At only five foot four, the weight suited her perfectly. After three months of chemotherapy and the vomiting that resulted, she weighed barely one hundred lbs and was weak all the time. It was okay though, because she was strong enough mentally and spiritually to still live her life to the fullest.
She never cried about her condition, instead she focused her energy on fighting. In turn, John tried to never succumb to his emotions, not wanting Amber to see the effect that her cancer had on him. John took a few months off from work to be with his wife. He would have taken it at the expense of his career, but his boss, a kind and generous man, had lost his mother to cancer three years prior. Because of this, he was more than willing to set up a system for John were he could do partial work at home and keep his full pay and benefits. As wonderful as that was, it didn't compare to the three dozen roses that John's boss sent to Amber the following day, expressing his concern and hopes for a quick and full recovery.
John had to go to the bathroom as Amber read the card from the roses. He didn't want her to see him cry. The notion from his boss had brought home the despair of Amber's condition. When John walked out of the bathroom, Amber was standing by the door. She had her hands on her hips and a sweet smile on her face. She nodded her head with pride for the husband that was trying desperately to be strong for his sick wife.
"Come here, John. You can cry on my shoulder".
John remembered that he approached her slowly, arms extended, and they embraced. The tears came quickly and the relief followed. As he stood in her arms, her comforting him, he found himself totally amazed at how a woman that was facing death, living through pain and agony, found the strength to comfort others. On the long list of reason why John loved his wife, a new reason went to the top. Courage.
At the final summit, John pulled himself up. He stood on the highest peak of the highest mountain. He reached into his bag and removed a walkie-talkie. He turned it on and adjusted the frequency. John knew he had to make the call, but he needed some time alone before the helicopter spoiled the serenity of the mountain top. He hoped they would take their time coming to him.
"I'm here. At the top."
The radio squeaked to life and a voice answered him.
"Roger, we'll be there in ten minutes."
John started to reach to turn the radio off and enjoy the silence, but, the operator spoke again.
"She would have been very proud of what you're doing".
"Thank you".
John put the walkie-talkie back into his bag and zipped it up. A strong breeze collided with his unshaven face, chilling it immediately. Suddenly, and very vividly, John remembered Amber's funeral.
He wasn't sure if he would make it through the whole procession, but he knew he had to. Both sides of their families would be there, and he wanted to be strong for them, the way Amber had been until the end.
The line of people wishing him condolences was extremely long. It made John smile a little to think of the legacy of love and respect that Amber had left. Although John knew that no other felt the love for Amber that he felt, her family was hurting just as badly as he was.
Amber's father, a large and thick retired firefighter with shoulders the width of a tree trunk, rambled down the line until he stood face to face with his son-n-law. He had tears in his eyes and a severe look of desperate loss on his face. It was obvious to see that a large part of him was going to be buried with his only daughter. He spoke softly, never breaking eye contact with John.
"Son, you are still a part of my family. If you ever need anything, don't ever hesitate".
John gave his father-n-law a hug and let him pass down the line to the fist seat he could fall into. That was probably the saddest part of the whole affair for John. He had accepted the loss, having battled cancer for over a year, John knew when the battle was over, the end near. Ironically enough, a year long battle did nothing to curtail the surprise John felt the morning he awoke to his wife, finally peaceful, her suffering finally over. He lay in bed for a while, tears in his eyes, cradling his deceased wife the way a mother holds a missing child that has been recently found. John wished he could hold her close to him until the pain went away, but that would have been impossible.
It was there in bed, lying with his wife for the last time, that John made her the promise that he would climb the highest mountain and say his final goodbye.
He could hear the helicopter blades cutting through the thick mountain air. He had to get moving if he wanted everything to be perfect. He took his backpack off of his shoulders and put it on the ground by his feet. He opened it, removing the flag he had chosen to put into the ground at the top of the mountain.
It was a very simple flag, all white with four words stitched in black lettering.
"FOR AMBER, LOVE ALWAYS"
The helicopter rose above the summit and the winds shook John where he stood. From inside the helicopter, he could see a pilot and a woman in a business suit. She was probably a reporter from the local station. In the back, a door opened and a man held a camera towards John, filming the end of his mission. He imagined that in the days that he arrived home and started his new life, he would be a celebrity, but all he really wanted was to be left alone to grieve at his own pace.
He took the flag in his hand and fell to his knees. He held it firmly over his head, ready to drive the post into the soft snow, and leave his legacy to his wife. A strong gust whipped across the mountain top, chilling John to the bone. He continued to hold the post high above his head, not sure if he would be able to drive it home. It suddenly occurred to him, that the act of driving the flag into the ground, was the last thing he would ever do for his wife. The flag, once it was in the ground, was the final goodbye to the best part of his life.
John's arm dropped and the flag hit the snow as he began to cry. The cameraman, unsure if he should continue filming, did so anyway. A tear fell from his eye as his heart felt the pity for a man that had lost the love of his life.
John continued to cry for a moment before his eyes turned to the heavens, hoping to see the God that let hi wife die, far too young. Instead, Amber's voice filled his head. Her voice comforted him, and as in the weeks before her death, she gave him the strength that he needed. Honey, don't cry for me any longer. Because of your love, my life was perfect. I need you to go on without me and live your life the best that you can. Remember, I will always be there with you. I love you, always!
John opened his eyes wipe the tears from his face. The helicopter was still flying next to him, the cameraman still taping. John took the flag and slowly put it into the ground. He patted the earth over the post in a small mound.
He stood over the flag and looked at it solemnly. "FOR AMBER, LOVE ALWAYS"
He wiped another tear from his eyes, gave a nod to the people in the helicopter, and climbed back down the side of the mountain.
©2003 StoriesByEmail.com
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