|
Samantha arrived home on December 18th, while Tom was held up at school with finals until the 22nd. On the 24th, Tom's parents had a Christmas party at their house, and Samantha sat impatiently in the living room, waiting for Tom to arrive home from an errand his mother had sent him to accomplish. Finally, as if God knew that Samantha could wait no longer, the front door opened and Tom stepped in from the cold. Samantha was amazed at how good Tom looked, the three months apart had seen a new look for Tom. He had changed his hair from the comb-over to a more trendier and modern shorter look. Samantha thought he looked very handsome, and secretly hoped, that when she threw her arms around Tom, she might be able to steal a kiss. Samantha battled the new emotion as she stood and began to walk towards Tom. She stopped instantly as Tom continued to hold the door open, a young woman walked in behind. The young woman was tall and slender with long chestnut colored hair and gorgeous green eyes. She had the look and grace of a model. The woman, Tom's girlfriend, was named Tonya and she was a classmate of Tom's at Bridgewater State College.
Samantha felt like a fool. She was forced to contain her desire for the hug, and the even more intense desire for a kiss, settling for a warm "hello".
During the party, Samantha found herself glaring at Tonya, a severe case of jealousy having gotten a foothold in her heart, wondering why she had never seen how handsome Tom was and why she had never thought to hold his hand, the way Tonya always seemed to be doing. Samantha, politely excusing herself, went outside and sat on an old wicker chair that had a companion chair and a glass table.
The back door opened and Tom came out to join her on the patio. Tom sat in the chair opposite Samantha and asked, "What's wrong?"
Samantha, still trying to deal with her new feeling of jealousy at the sight of Tom's girlfriend, decided to give Tom the only answer that she could think to say.
"Nothing."
"Oh. You seemed upset in the house."
Samantha nodded and said, " Nope, just tired", all the while wondering if it sounded as much of a lie as it was.
"Is that your new girlfriend?"
"Yeah. We've been together since October. She's really nice, you'd like her."
Samantha didn't respond to that and tried her best to look at anything besides Tom and his beautiful green eyes. Finally, Tom began to understand.
"Are you jealous?"
Samantha tried to look shocked by the accusation, but her eyes betrayed her.
"Why are you jealous?"
"I don't know."
Tom stood and began to pace around the backyard patio area. Samantha watched him, feeling embarrassed that she spoke of her secret feelings so freely, and even more surprised that she had the feelings.
Tom stopped pacing and looked at Samantha.
"I don't know what I can do. I like her."
"Tom, it's okay. It just surprised me. That's all. I missed talking to you and I think I just became jealous when I thought that you chose her over me."
Tom smiled, and said, "You're my best friend. You will always be my best friend. Nothing and nobody will ever change that."
Samantha smiled and stood up.
"Good, I'm glad. Let's go inside, I'm cold."
Samantha and Tom started to walk inside. Tom stopped Samantha before they got to the door. He looked at her in a way that she had never seen. The look was gone from his face almost as quickly as it had arrived.
"What?"
Tom smiled and said, "Nothing. I just missed you."
"I missed you, too."
Tom gave her a hug and Samantha was finally satisfied that they would survive this friendship test. She was much happier two months later, although she would never confess it, when Tom and Tonya broke up.
Shortly after graduation, Tom and Samantha simply lost contact. It wasn't any particular issue or fight; it began with a whimper as opposed to a bang. What seemed to be a blessing in disguise actually prevented them from getting closer. Tom stayed in Bridgewater after graduation, and Samantha moved home. It should have been easier for the pair to re-start their friendship, but it just didn't happen. It started with neither of the pair taking the initiative after college, when both had finally been close enough to get together, to make the attempt at hanging out. Samantha didn't call Tom and in turn, Tom didn't call Samantha. Samantha remembered contemplating calling Tom on various occasions, but this "tomorrow", kept on getting pushed back to the next "tomorrow". For his part Tom felt slighted by Samantha, mainly because he had made the last official phone call. Both parties actually felt they were the owner of the last effort, but neither made the next.
Things might have carried on for longer than eight months, but fate seemed to step in and help. Tom was at his parent's house, one of his bi-weekly visits home for laundry and, however unfortunate, money, when he heard a knock on the front door. His parents had gone shopping and he was home alone. Tom answered the door, finding Samantha's mother in a state of total panic. Samantha's father had suffered a heart attack and was unconscious on the floor. The ambulance was on the way, but she knew that Tom had learned CPR and he might be able to help. Tom sprinted across the street, bursting through the front door and finding Samantha's father on the floor. He wasn't breathing, and Tom immediately started to resuscitate him. After a moment, not a second too late, he came around and the ambulance arrived.
At the hospital, Tom sat with Samantha's mother, trying his best to reassure her that her husband of twenty-five years would be fine. Samantha came running down the hall towards her mother, the concern for her father showing on her face. Tom was struck by how beautiful she was, even in this state of disarray and concern. Her hair had gotten longer and she looked more sophisticated. She looked like an adult. Samantha greeted her mother with a hug and immediately asked about her father. Her mother informed Samantha of the heart attack, and Tom's help, which the paramedics said saved her father's life. Samantha went to Tom, after hearing of his exploits, and embraced him. She kissed his cheek and Tom could feel her tears dampening his face. He missed hugging Samantha, the feel of her body against his.
A day later, Tom called Samantha to inquire about her father. Conversation ensued and they ended the day drinking coffee together and talking of old times and new developments. The awkwardness they had both expected wasn't there, but the friendship was. Neither seemed bitter at the other for the break in their relationship, but were eager to quickly become friends, again. That's exactly what happened.
After they reunited, Tom and Samantha found it easier to enjoy their friendship. They had both moved home and started new jobs in the area. Samantha began work for the Boston Police Department as a forensic scientist, while Tom, his baseball career cut short by a knee injury his junior year, began work as a sales rep for Boston Scientific.
It was around 1998, four years after graduation; Tom realized that he had fallen in love with Samantha. Tom wasn't sure whether the feelings had been culminating for years, but he was sure the exact moment that he knew he loved her. They shared a Thursday night movie continuously for the years after they found each other, again, but on a particular Thursday, Samantha had to work late and cancel the date. Tom was surprised at how angry he had become when she couldn't make it to the movie. It was then that he realized that his original feelings of friendship had been replaced by love.
Tom never let on how much it had bothered him that she missed the date, just as he never told her that he loved her. He felt that he had blown his chance, all those years ago on the patio, and was settled to the idea that telling her how he felt would either hurt or ruin the friendship. Besides, they were young and Tom figured, that if it were meant to be, then in time, it would be.
Someday, Tom would tell her how he felt.
The years passed and they grew together. Tom began to notice the little things about Samantha that only a man in love could notice. He noticed how she bit her lip when she was nervous and how she looked sexy with her hair in a bun. He also began to see how other men looked at her, but he dilligently practiced ignorance to the emotions of jealousy, hoping to conceal the truth. To his credit, Samantha never suspected.
Three days ago, Tom was startled by a late night phone call from Samantha's father. Samantha was supposed to have gone to their house for dinner, but she never arrived. She had been in a serious accident on the way to the dinner. Tom wanted to know what hospital she was at, he felt he needed to be by her side. Tom felt instant relief when her father told him that he didn't need to go to the hospital. He figured she was okay and had been released already. It wasn't too late. Tom knew that he still had time to tell her his true feelings. The moment he saw her, those feelings were going to be confessed.
Samantha's father spoke with affection to her daughter's best friend, a man he had always thought of as a son, and said, "Tom, she's dead."
The words echoed in Tom's head. Suddenly, his chest felt too tight, like he was breathing through a straw with a hole in it. The room began to spin and Tom could barely hear Samantha's father trying to talk. Slowly, Tom came back to reality and tried to gain some composure.
"Are you okay? Your wife, is she okay?"
Samantha's father took a deep breath and said, "I don't know. We're in shock."
"I know, I'm gonna come by."
The next three days were the worst days of Tom's life. Each day felt like a lurid nightmare. Tom thought that God was intentionally placing the catalyst for memories about Samantha everywhere that he went. Thursday, two days after she died, Tom had begun to search through the newspaper for a movie to go see, a habit formed over six years, only to remember that he would never see another movie with Samantha. Closing the newspaper and then crumpling it in his hands, Tom wept freely and openly. He wept for the sadness of losing his best friend, but he wept more for himself. Although he knew he was acting selfishly, Tom felt that the real tragedy was that he never told Samantha that he loved her. Never once had he said the words that he had felt in his heart forever. He never took her in his arms and kissed her, the feel of her passion mixing with his. It was then, finally, that Tom realized that not only had he lost his best friend and the woman he loved, but also, he had lost his true soul mate. For this, Tom wept.
Tom came awake on the train and immediately felt the loneliness creep back into his heart. He wiped a tear from his eye and tried to straighten out his clothes, which he was certain would be wrinkled from slouching in the seat. Tom began to pat down his clothes and then paused, realizing he was straightening out a t shirt and jeans, rather than the suit he thought he was wearing for the funeral. How had he forgotten to wear a suit to the funeral? Was he really that out of it?
"Are you okay?", a familiar voice asked from beside him.
Tom turned to the voice and his mouth hung open as he looked at Samantha.
"Are you okay, Tom?", she asked again. There was legitimate concern in her voice. "You were asleep for a while".
Tom slowly realized that it had all been a dream, a horrible nightmare. Samantha wasn't dead, she was right there, next to him on the train. He hadn't wasted his chance to tell her his true feelings. Whether the dream was a nightmare or not was inconsequential. Tom knew that the whole ordeal had been an epiphany and he couldn't ignore it.
The train came to a stop and Samantha and Tom walked outside the train station together. Samantha had begun to pull away by a step or two, but Tom took her hand and stopped her. Samantha looked down at her hand, clutched inside of Tom's, and then looked at Tom.
"What?", Samantha said through a curious smile.
Tom stared deeply into her eyes.
"I love you."
Samantha stared in amazement. Her mouth opened and closed, but the words never arrived.
Tom pulled her close and put his hand on her cheek. Still looking into her eyes, Tom leaned forward and kissed her. Samantha kissed him back, their passions equal.
It would be impossible to say how long they stood there, in the train station, locked in their embrace. The only thing that was certain, is that when they finally let go of each other, Samantha said, "I love you, too". That was all that mattered.
End
©2003 StoriesByEmail.com
|
