Nick
The fictionalized version of this true story is
included in a full length manuscript titled, Hallowed Hearts. I have
extracted the excerpts which include the story in order to present it in this
ezine. The names and certain incidental facts were changed during the
writing of the manuscript, but the essential theme of The Tin Man remains
intact.
"Well, hello, we meet again. And in the
middle of the day during the week. I thought you were so tied to
your business that you rarely got away?" His tone was so patronizing,
Jesse was taken aback. She felt herself flush and dug in her heels. Who
did this guy think he was?
"I would imagine you'd be used to women making up
excuses to avoid being with you." She said without looking at him as
she grabbed a box of carpet seaming tape that she didn't need or want and tossed
it in the cart.
"What are you so cheery about?" He
asked her back, ignoring her comment.
"No practice today." She answered
flatly as she turned her cart around to leave.
"Jessie, right?"
"Jesse." She corrected. He
caught up with her and put his hand out to shake hers. Pretty pushy for a
guy that doesn't even try to make up for it with charm.
"I suppose you have one of those gadgets that
buzz me when I put my hand in yours." She said as she made eye
contact with him for the first time. Why is he standing so close to me?!
"Nah, I left it at home. Truce." He
was still holding his hand out. She turned toward him and took it and
hoped they could go on their merry ways now. She did notice that he was
rather handsome, in a short, Clark Kent sort of way. Nice grip, too.
No manners, though.
"So, what are you doing out today?" His
tone softened, but she was sure he was being facetious.
"You make it sound like I'm out on probation.
Has anyone ever mentioned to you that your manners are atrocious?"
She pushed her cart slightly forward but then remembered the staples she
needed and turned around to go back. He stood still, blocking her
path.
"It was a simple question. Why are you
getting so defensive?" She thought she detected a hint of charm from
under all that arrogance and was curious herself why she was acting defensive.
She looked at him for a moment and said, "Just
another effect you seem to have on people, with all that charm oozing out and
everything."
"So, what other effect have I had on you?"
Jesse had totally set herself up for that one, and he was looking pretty
pleased with himself.
"Look, can we just go about our business, please?
That is if you've run out of charm school material to try out on me."
It was an honest plea at this point. This guy bugged her.
He stepped aside dramatically to let Jesse through and
said, "What are you going to do with the tape?"
Totally flustered now, she stammered, "Why
do you care? What do you want?" She looked him square in the
eye now and felt like a trapped animal with a predator trying to decide if he's
hungry enough to eat or not.
"I was asking a simple question, which you still
haven't answered by the way." He said mockingly.
"Okay. What was the question?" Trying
to regain her composure and end this ridiculous encounter.
"What are you doing out today?" It
still sounded sarcastic but she was determined to get rid of this guy.
"New balls for the team." Now why had
she set herself up again?
"I said, truce." He said.
"I didn't. Good-bye, Prince Charming."
She shot back and began pushing her cart away.
"Hey, we didn't get a team together by the
deadline so you're off the hook."
"I was never on the hook!" She stopped
and whirled around. This guy was incorrigible.
"Are you really shopping for your team?"
He asked almost boyishly.
"Got you wondering, now, don't I?"
"Not about softball." He said this
almost in a whisper. She looked up from the box of staples she had been
pretending to study and he looked like he was searching her to see if she was
playing with him or if he was really get blown off. Up until that moment
she had been hoping he'd go away but now she was curious. Who was this
guy?
"What, then?" It was still a jaded
comment but her voice was soft and real.
"I'm wondering...." he paused and then
as if changing his mind about what he was going to say, he said, " if
you're really that bad a ball player, then why are you dressed like one?"
Jesse immediately became aware of her appearance and felt self conscious.
She had thrown on the most cozy outfit she had for the appointment which
consisted of old, gray, holey sweats, a baseball cap because her neck hurt too
much to bother with her hair and a baseball jersey that Mel had given her.
Not a stitch of make up, not even lip stick, and running into this guy
looking like this struck her as comical. She laughed. He was looking
at her expectantly. She couldn't possibly look very feminine, and he
sure was hard to read. They both seemed to be enjoying this little banter
back and forth, though, and she figured him for the boy in grade school who
pulled your braids because he really liked you. Well, this wasn't grade
school any more, and she could pull just as hard.
"I have a date." She said more harshly
than she intended but she wasn't going to make this easy for him.
"Oh." He recoiled as fast as he could
and even stepped back. She'd hurt his feelings? She was relieved to
see he had them.
"I'm kidding. Do I look like I'm dressed
for a date?"
"You look great to me." Hmmm. Very
hard to read, she thought.
"Thank you, I think, though I feel like I'm being
set up here."
"No. What are the staples for?" He
was trying to fumble his way out of the rut they were in and changing the
subject was the only way out.
"To put up some outdoor lights around the porch
at the inn, where I work when I'm not playing softball." She said
this lightly and he smiled. She continued.
"Monday the store is closed so it's the day I do
my shopping. What are you doing out in the middle of the day,
yourself?" He had a nice smile. Sand paper tongue but a nice
smile.
"I needed some stuff for an experiment we're
doing tomorrow at the lab and had a meeting that ended early."
Now that both their hackles were relaxed they stood in
the aisle and talked, for the first time, in complete sentences. He
was a scientist at the plant out on the highway near Chiloquin, separated, three
kids and originally from Missouri. They got into the wit and parry routine
occasionally and seemed to be an equal match for each other's sarcasm.
They stood there talking for quite a while, neither seemed eager to
leave. At times, while he was talking, Jesse looked at him but stopped
listening. She was watching his mouth move, the way he stood without any
nervous hand gestures, the way he kept eye contact with her. She listened
to the sound of his voice but not the words. They had to step aside at one
point for another shopper to pass by, and she brushed up against his arm and
stayed there, purposely, though she didn't know why, but she wanted to see if he
would move away.
He didn't.
She was taking in his essence, studying
him and didn't need to hear his words to know what he was saying. After a
few moments, she stepped back out of discomfort at the closeness to him, but not
before noticing his scent. She couldn't detect a specific aftershave aroma,
but he smelled clean, natural, masculine and sensual. At other times, when she
was talking, he looked at her and she knew he wasn't listening, either, but was
trying to decide something. She felt like she was being examined by him
with a microscope and imagined herself as one of his laboratory experiments.
She enjoyed talking to him and they dipped in and out of
conversations mixed with occasional sarcasm easily and playfully. Jesse
thought, look, guy, fish or cut bait but I gotta go. He must have sensed
that she was getting ready to make her move because in the middle of his
sentence about his work he blurted out, "Would you like to have
dinner with me tonight?"
He seemed relieved to finally get that out
and she was equally relieved but also uncertain. She found him attractive, but
there was some ambivalence about him that she couldn't put her finger on but
bothered her. He had told her that his friends had recently been setting
him up on dates but it wasn't going well. He'd been separated about a year
and a half. Jesse's experience here is that the only thing worse than
getting involved with a man recently separated was....oh, that's right, there
wasn't anything worse. But she liked him, even if she did have to be
constantly on the lookout for one of his hands reaching up to yank on her
braids. One of Jesse's weaknesses is not being able to see all the red
flags flapping in her face.
"Okay." Her tone was suspicious.
"You don't sound very sure." He said.
This was true. She wasn't sure.
"No, I mean, yes, I'm sure. You just have
an interesting mannerism that seems to get my guard up. " He was
looking a little embarrassed and she felt an awkwardness between them.
"Wanna fight?" He put up his dukes
playfully. Recovered well, she thought.
"Perhaps, but let's eat first." They
both relaxed again.
"So, dinner? What time?" He said
smoothly, this time.
"Well, here's the thing. I feel like I need
to take care of some things at the inn tonight. How would you like to come
out there and I'll cook?"
"Hmmm. How do I know you're not going to
poison me?"
"You don't." And how do I know you're
not a nutball, she thought. She didn't have a lot to go on in terms of his
character, but the hardware store owner knew him, and her gut told her he was not
a maniac. Jesse didn't have a great track record with the men she picked,
but it wasn't because they were mean or nuts; it's just that they ended up being
emotionally unavailable. And the truth was, she wanted a friend right now.
"What time?"
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