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Bumps In The Night


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The Alien Sheriff -- Part 23
by James Patrick Cobb

Buck Turner has taken over as sheriff of Contention City. He finds himself purposely misquoted in the Contention City Chronicle. The editor and reporter, Hank Atwell, insists that his rendering of the truth makes for better reading. Turner gets disgusted and brainclips Atwell after narrowly avoiding a fight with an irate Chronicle reader. Atwell’s future articles then lose some of their style but improve factually. Buck vows to never wait so long to brainclip someone who needs it ever again.

For the definition of words such as brrkup and pleebk please see the Squaattoosian Glossary in the “Free RPG” section of www.sfwestern.com.

Episode 23

I brainclipped Childs while teaching him and Anaya how to install one.

"You'll get a little headache," I told Childs. "But you'll be better off after it."

My deputies and I then clipped every drunk we could find. They were the people who'd get the most obvious benefit. I needed as many examples of success as possible to point to. As a matter of course there'd be others like Garza opposing my efforts. Some people are just naturally opposed to any new idea.

I could clearly see Contention City as the center of manufacture of the brrkup. Graax and I could become the richest men in the United States, making John D. Rockefeller, Cornelius Vanderbilt, and the rest of the blue-bloods jealous. I intended to make the alien a full partner in all endeavors connected with the brrkup. Contention City was on its way to becoming a town where the populace employed their talents to the fullest extent. What a success and a sight it would be to behold!

We needed to have successful examples to cite when it came time to debate those opposed to this new way of criminal rehabilitation. There were no better examples than people who were formerly drunks. We'd give examples of how the brrkup had improved Contention City, saying, "Look at the wretch, miserable no more! Who can say the brainclip is of no benefit? It helps society and the individual man. If it weren't for the brainclip, he'd still be sleeping on the sidewalk, craving the bottle."


Contention City was a conglomeration of about 2,500 souls lived in the area - a fairly large town by the standards of the west. I implanted no more than four dozen people and found the crisis of violence was mostly over. As I suspected, it had been only a small number of people causing nine-tenths of the problems.

I didn't get to implant every rowdy. Some left because they were afraid of being brainclipped. They knew the City Council and I were getting serious about law enforcement and we finally had the tools to do something about it.

I didn't stop implanting people. As good as things were, they still could get better. Nobody who'd been implanted said, "I wish I didn't have this thing in my head."

Even the people who weren't implanted were helped. Living in such a town, Caleb wouldn't waste time on frivolous pursuits or ladies of the evening, as young men are wont to do. There'd be fewer dishonest cronies to lead him astray. I wouldn't have to worry so much about the quality of the suitors that Becky found when she became of the age where she'd begin dating. Even the unclipped were influenced by the purity of the clipped - one action leads to another in an eventual circle of happiness.

Hundreds more people needed it. I didn't know a magic number, what would make "enough people" and there was no way for me to know it either. The factory box kept making more brrkups. I kept putting them in more heads. Someday I planned to put one in my own head.

There was a lot of silver left to be mined in the hills. Many more people would move here to find their fortune - some of which were the shifty, dishonest sort who'd need the brainclip.

Some would come, like the Thomas Brothers Gang, with no intention of staying. I figured on always keeping the factory case handy and producing. These new people would keep me in the job.

After a month, the town shut down a little after sundown and didn't start again until just before sunrise. It was quieter than it had ever been under Jack Brucker. My deputies could take over for a few weeks in order to allow me to move my family off of the K-10, I figured.

I made Deputy Anaya acting sheriff in my absence. I took the factory case with me. It was too precious to leave behind. The case was one of a kind, and the only key humankind had to restoring Earth to what it had been before the Fall of Man.

I wrapped five brrkups in a handkerchief and handed them to Anaya. "This ought to last you. Use these on anybody you think needs it," I said.

Removing all traces of geniality from my face and voice, I warned, "Be careful with them. Don't know how they'll hold up to rough handling."

"You got it boss," Anaya said, nodding solemnly. He was a good kid.

There was a lot of work left - but none that couldn't wait for my family to join me.

The next morning I mounted '49er and rode back to what used to be home. I felt victorious over crime in Contention City.

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