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Buck
Turner brainclips a tramp while Contention City Councilman and Metropolitan
bar owner James Hardy looks on impatiently.
Episode 21
(This is about how I got them to let me apply for
the sheriff job.) Late at one windy Tuesday afternoon meeting in the
Metropolitan, I stood before the City Council of Contention City with the
solution to their problems in my palm. I'll be the first to admit their
skepticism had a basis in fact. The brrkup didn't look like much. I wanted to
get them to let me try it out.
The clip scintillated off and on in the light
streaming through the large window. A cottonwood swayed hither and yon in the
conflicting winds outside. I promised the five men that if they hired Graax
and me, Contention City would become the safest boomtown in history. I was
making a promise as big as the wide blue sky Graax dropped out of, but it was
one I was certain I could keep.
Able-bodied and muscular from working on the ranch,
I'd probably have been better off if I had said, "I'm here to apply for
the sheriff's job. Experience? None. But I've always been interested in the
job." They were desperate. They might have figured they could have fired
me if somebody better came along.
But
as excited I was about the prospects of the brrkup, saying something that
simple never even occurred to me. Even with all the pressure on the Council to
find someone, my talking about the brrkup made me a controversial choice.
"Crime will become a thing of the past," I
said in the manner of a snake-oil salesman, having practiced my oratory in
front of my family and by myself up in my room. "This is the most
wondrous advancement available to man - ever! It will cause a blackguard to
turn into an upstanding citizen sooner than you'd ever dream possible. How
does it do its miraculous work? All by enforcing the Golden Rule in a man's
mind. How can any harm come from that? It can't! Indeed, only good deeds are
possible!"
Five
men stared back at me, three with interested faces and two with skeptical
ones. "I've heard these kinds of spiels before. You're peddling snake
oil," Hardy said.
"I assure you, I am not," I said earnestly.
"Its modest appearance is deceiving. This will help the world like
nothing else ever has." The wind knocked the branches of the cottonwood
against the glass as if to accentuate my words.
"Que hace viento! This rancher isn't
lying, Hardy," Lionel Garza said.
"I've heard talk about Ike Renner from people I
trust. I wouldn't believe you either if I didn't trust those people so,
Turner," Garza said.
"¡Graciás señor!" I said gratefully,
assuming him to be an ally who understood what I was trying to do.
"Doesn't mean I agree with you, Señor. I've only heard
stories about what you and the alien did to your neighbor. Turned him into a
zombie, they say. You put that into his head?" Garza said of the brrkup.
"He's as alive as he ever was," I said.
Garza's eyes bulged. "Didn't take over his mind?"
"Just helped him be a better person."
"So you say," Garza said, glaring. "What does
Renner say about all this?"
"Says he never felt better," I retorted, proud to
make my point.
The
Hispanic Councilman laughed. "¡Como no! El tiene that thing in
his head telling him what to say. Everyone knows there was a lot of hate
between you two.
"You even came into town a few times trying to
get Sheriff Brucker to get in the middle of the fight! Why would you be doing
something so good for Renner if you were fighting him?"
"Sheriff Brucker was supposed to enforce the
law out there. Renner and I were having trouble Brucker couldn't do anything
about. He said this town was too wild and violent for him to leave even for a
day. He was right. Now, after a week with him gone, look what Contention has
become."
I looked around the table at their eyes. I could
tell I touched a few nerves, even in Garza.
"Anyway, Mr. Garza, you're right we didn't put
the brrkup . . ."
"The what?" Hardy said.
"The brrkup," I said. "That's what
Graax calls the device we put into Renner."
"Funny word," he said.
"It's a word from another planet. Would
“brainclip” be better?" I said indulgently. "We call it that
sometimes too."
He smiled. "Yes, thanks. That's not a
funny-sounding alien word," he said, laughing along with the rest of
them.
"We didn't put the brainclip in him for no
reason. It was because of the property dispute.
"I don't hate Mr. Renner. I don't hate anybody.
In fact, now that he has the brainclip, he's my buddy. He even works for
me," I said.
Garza
eyed me as he sipped from the glass in front of him. They all stared at me,
summing me up, but none as intently as Garza.
Because I witnessed the change in Renner, I believed
in the brainclip. Even if they decided not to hire me, I'd have given a batch
to the sheriff they did hire. If he found them useful, I'd provide him with
more from the factory box. In fact, I could see a little business springing up
where I'd provide brrkups to law enforcers throughout the United States. I'd
have to ask Graax how many clips the case could produce each week. I assumed
there'd be some kind of limit. I'd have to know so the salesmen I hired
wouldn't take more orders than we could handle.
I wouldn't tell them that - yet. I'd rather have
become a lawman than enter some dubious business and return to ranching.
"You rescued this alien when his airship
crashed?" Garza asked.
"That's right. My wife, who is a self-taught
doctor, treated him and helped him recover. Graax heard of our problems with
Renner and offered a possible solution. He put a brrkup in Renner and we were
impressed. That's why we decided we had to offer this device to the rest of
the world," I said.
I added, conspiratorially: "You know, on Mr.
Graax's planet, Squaattoos, there are no jails."
"No jails?" they said.
"That's right," I said. "It's thanks
to the brrkup and Pelattishh."
The main points of Pelattishh is that learning is
the highest state in life. Also, everyone and everything has something to
teach, I said. The aliens looked for ways to overcome negative impulses. The
brrkup was an outgrowth of this effort, I explained, repeating what Graax had
taught me. The device is able to recognize those impulses in our brain as well
as theirs.
"Graax says the emotions look alike. For them,
sending Graax and Tehoxx was a form of prayer. It took many years for them to
learn how to travel from planet to planet and from their star to ours. It was
kind of like what our ancestors did in Europe when they built those big
churches," I said.
"Whatever," Councilman Garza said. He
decided that he had heard enough. "Gentlemen, we don't need the brainclip.
Even if we did, we don't know enough about it. Señor Turner couldn't even
tell us how it works. Furthermore, if given a choice, I know none of us would
like to have one of those in our heads."
"None of us would kill a three-year-old and
participate in the gang rape of his mother, but some of the people we have
coming to town lately would," Hardy said.
I laughed grimly. "Unfortunately that's true,
Councilman. And this is just the way to mend the problem. We don't know how
the sun shines, but it does and we all use its heat and light," I
retorted.
The other four board members nodded in agreement.
"The sun was created by God. You can't put the
two side-by-side. If you want to better any man, pray for him," Garza
said.
Councilman Henry Hawkins cleared his throat before
speaking. "Mr. Garza you and I both know God doesn't tell us to go out
and do bad things. If it wasn't in his will for us, he wouldn't have had that
alien fellow crash near Turner's K-10.
"I don't know all about this alien religion,
and we can go on and on about it, but what's the point? We'd be up all night
and still not agree. I come from the God-Helps-Those-Who-Help-Themselves
School of Faith. I don't believe Mr. Turner was advocating putting these
brainclips in everyone. Didn't he say he would restrict them to the
desperados?" Hawkins said.
"I didn't, but I would," I said. "I'd
only use them in those who crossed the law. It's the best thing for them!
They've got something wrong with them. With the brainclip, they'll have a
good, productive life. Like Ike Renner.
"Let us not forget Mr. Renner. He looks
happier. He acts happier. He says he's happier. That's enough for me. With
those reasons, I have come to Contention to offer y'all my services."
Hawkins nodded. "Only the bad people," he
echoed. "We'd be better off with less bad people. A good dose of Bible
learning never hurt anyone."
Garza shrugged. "If I had too much liquor and
was borracho and fight, that would be mistake. No? Not an all-the-time
mistake, just one time. That wouldn't make me a bad person. I wouldn't want to
have one of those things put in my head. There's nothing about having to have
one of those in the Constitution."
Councilman Wilford P. Hayes looked like a professor
with his monocle and white hair. "I'm sure the founding fathers never
dreamed a man from another planet would crash here," he said. "And
further, that the man would bring these amazing things. How crazy it sounds!
"But that doesn't make the values they held
dear irrelevant. Having been schooled in the truth of what they believed,
we've just got to use our God-given brains to decide this matter," Hayes
said.
"Well said," I agreed. "Those great
men couldn't have known everything about the future."
Garza sensed he was losing the debate. "They
believed in freedom. This isn't about anything like freedom. I wouldn't want
one of those in my head. Ever. I know none of you would either."
Hayes smiled. "You, my friend, are a good
man," he said generously. "Punishments aren't designed for good men.
Nobody would want to see a good man hanged. Neither would a good man be likely
hung, unless a dreadful mistake was made. That, of course, is unlikely. If it
happens, it's unfortunate, but it's the price we pay for an orderly society.
"Who can doubt the chip is better than hanging?
Should a mistake be made, it wouldn't be as bad as if we were killed,
right?" Hayes concluded.
"What you say is true, Professor," Garza
said, using Hayes's nickname. "Is there a way to take it out once it has
been put in?" he asked.
"Not without killing the man," I admitted
quickly, shrugging. "But there's no reason to. The brainclip isn't a
punishment. It's a treatment. Like the walking stick the cripple uses to prop
himself with, the brainclip props up a man's morals."
The sun was setting behind the mountains, casting
darkness. Hawkins stood up, stretched, and began lighting the sconces.
"We need to make a decision soon. It's getting late.
"I say it's time for a little horse trading. I
say we give the job to Turner here. Tell him and Mr. Graax, when we meet him,
how we only want them to put their brainclip in the men they arrest for just
cause. Also, we put a one-month time limit on the contract."
"Why's that?" I asked Hawkins, shocked.
Moving the family was a time-consuming project I wanted to undertake as few
times as possible. I wasn't going to move them out to Contention City one
month only to have them move back the next.
"You're a mighty fine salesman," Hawkins
said, pausing to look at me. "We need to be convinced you aren't selling
a bad bill of goods. Hearing about something this fabulous isn't the same as
seeing it with your own eyes."
"I'm not . . ." I began, but seeing the
shrewd look in the Councilmen's eyes I knew any attempt to change his mind
would surely fail.
Councilman Craig had been silent the whole meeting.
He spoke up: "With the amendment, I'd support that."
Garza shook his head again. "I still say the
solution is simple. If somebody kills somebody, we kill them. Brucker should
have shot Sol Thomas. Also, doing this to the head of a man is too severe for
any lesser offense."
"There are a lot of problems with what you have
just said, Mr. Garza," Craig said. "We don't have time to go over
all of them." He turned to Hardy. "You'll decide this."
"I propose we test only one person: Cletus
Daniels," Hardy said. "How he fared would tell us everything we need
to know. If he changes, then this is worthwhile. If he doesn't, this debate is
all a waste of our time. We can come back later and discuss this more. If this
brainclip is something to would help him, we owe it to him as a fellow human
to provide it to him."
Here is somebody who thinks the way I do.
Garza looked deeply at Hardy.
"He's totaled my place every time he's had
money and I've let him in," Hardy continued.
Garza snorted. "You deserved it. You knew after
the first time that he could not hold his liquor."
Hardy ignored him. "I don't like to keep anyone
out. I have always tried to run The Metropolitan as a place for every white
man in the community to gather."
"As long as they have the money," Garza
said, snorting and interrupting.
"I care only that they don't fight and destroy
the place. They are expensive furnishings," Hardy said in defense.
"During this time without Sheriff Brucker, God rest his soul, many said
they felt safer in the Metropolitan than at home.
"Now I have to tell Dennis or Chen not to let
Daniels in. When he has the money, it never fails, the man drinks his weight
in alcohol. That's fine for me as a bar owner. But when we try to cut him off,
he turns violent: breaking chairs, smashing mirrors. I don't make money and he
can't afford to replace what he breaks.
"You put that clip in his nose, I'll take a
chance and let him in my saloon. We'll see what happens. If he can drink
without destroying property, you'll get my vote - and you'll get it without me
agreeing to any one-month limitation. Come on gentlemen! Even if the brainclip
proves to be bogus, Turner looks big and able enough to take on the job. He
has enough interest to put up with all of this and that's half of any
job," Hardy said.
"We certainly need a sheriff," Hardy
continued. "We can't go on the way we've been. I say we give this man the
job if he delivers - no conditions. We should thank him for answering our
prayers too!"
I collected my papers and samples, packing up.
Surely there's another town somewhere that wants to become a paradise.
I couldn't stay here with all the conditions they
were putting on my taking the job and all the debating. Only a fool doesn't
use a good tool when he has a job for it. I wanted no dealings with fools.
These men, with the exception of Hardy, Hayes and Hawkins, didn't understand
the opportunity I was offering them. They should have been desperate for
someone to come in here and take the job. If they didn't see and appreciate
what I was offering them now, they never would.
In retrospect, I suppose Hardy's offer for a test
was a fair proposition. But at the time I only saw that it could have dire
consequences for the future of the brainclip. If it didn't work on Daniels for
whatever reason, the story might follow me, making it hard to get a hearing in
another town.
I was used to succeeding or failing by my own calls.
It was the board's call this time. I never had a boss to answer to since I
left the JA. If I became sheriff, I'd have five bosses - a tough adjustment.
"You may feel my standards for a vote in your
behalf may be too high, Mr. Turner, but when you'll be talking a pay raise,
I'll vote to give you half again as much as we paid Sheriff Brucker. It'll be
worth it," Hardy said.
"Make that twice as much and show me Mr.
Daniels," I said firmly, regretting I didn't ask for triple Brucker's
pay. I could have gotten it. That was my price for dealing with fools, the
only way to get them to appreciate what you were offering them.
Hardy's eyes flashed. The other Councilmen gasped.
"We can spend our money better than that,"
Garza said.
"If this brainclip is even half what Turner
says it is, we'll have the best city in the world," Hardy said after a
moment. "What would twice Sheriff Brucker's salary be? $120? $120 a month
is a bargain for what he would do."
Even at Brucker's original pay rate, I would've been
making a lot more money than I had at ranching this past year. The talk about
paying double that made me nervous. Somehow I managed to hold my feelings in.
"Mr. Hardy is the only one of you who can spot a bargain," I said.
The Metropolitan would make an incredible profit
from heavy drinkers who never became violent, I realized. Let him have his
profit. As far as I was concerned, the man deserved it for voting for the
brainclip.
* * * *
After I put in his brainclip, Daniels went over to
see Rev. Charles Rollins who preached at the church. The minister referred him
to Slim Collins, owner of the Contention Café. Collins gave Daniels a job as
a dishwasher. When Daniels did well and proved reliable, the Café owner
taught him how to cook.
I had to go eat at the Café, though I still had
some hardtack left. I had to try some of Daniels's cooking. It was all right.
Those bacon and eggs tasted doubly good. I was proud to have helped the man
turn his life around. That had been no mean feat getting that brainclip in his
head what with his cold and all.
You'd have thought Daniels's newly found temperance
would have made Hardy happy. If you did, you'd have been wrong.
"He doesn't ever come around now. That's no
good. If you put it in everyone, I'd be out of business, sure as if I let him
in before, bought him drinks on the house and let him break the mirrors,"
Hardy said.
"Isn't he doing better for himself and
everybody else, cooking instead of begging?" I said, still too idealistic
to believe my ears. "You can always go into another business."
"I think the business I'm in is just
fine," he insisted. "I've got a better idea."
I knew I wasn't going to like what he had to say.
"You get the alien to tell you how to change
the clip so the man who has it still wants to drink, and it still keeps him
from getting rowdy - we can make us a lot of money! Maybe Mr. Graax could even
increase the person's thirst. A sheriff's pay is peanuts! There's real money
in this. I'd make you a partner in the business," Hardy promised, his
eyes full of greed. "Teach you the ropes."
"I'll think about it," I said, not meaning
it. Then: "I can't do that," I said quickly, though I knew I needed
his vote. Two Councilmen voting together could vote anything down, by the
council's rules. Garza was a guaranteed vote against me.
"Why's that?" he asked. "Don't think
Mr. Graax can change them around?"
"Nope. Mr. Graax can neigh do the impossible.
I've seen him do it. I just don't want to do that. It's wrong and I don't have
to worry about your vote either. All I have to do is put a brainclip in your
head and I'll have it," I said, pulling the pleebk out of my boot.
"You wouldn't do that," he said with a
tremulous voice, suddenly aware of my power.
"Yes I would. You leave me no choice," I
said, fingering the alien wandlike device on. I aimed it and fired. He went
limp.
With the practice I'd received installing the
brainclip in Daniels, I manipulated it in with ease, getting my ally on the City
Council of Contention City in two tries.
The reformation of Contention City had begun.
I ended up with everybody's vote except Garza's.
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