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The morning of Jesse's departure, she opted for a taxi to the airport at the last minute to minimize the stress she was feeling. Julia had called early to confirm their plans for the fifteenth weary
time and perform the unavoidable process of repeated rehearsals and synchronizing to the micro-minute. Divine order would be a theory guaranteeing chaotic disaster in Julia's mind, and to suggest it now or any time would be the equivalence of lighting the fuse on a stick of dynamite. Regardless, Jesse wasn't feeling particularly light and needed time to mentally prepare for this tenuous reunion. Julia was driving up to Oregon and would meet Jesse's plane later that evening.
"I don't mind waiting, so don't hurry. We'll get there when we get there. I'll call Charlotte to see if they've seen mom or dad, but I'm sure everything's
fine," Jesse said, hoping this would get them to the end of the conversation. There had been no answer at their folks for the past two days, which was highly unusual. As an afterthought and with a little laugh, she added, "maybe they're sick of the snow, and they want to move to Florida!"
"That's not even funny." Julia groaned.
Jesse thought it was funny. "Relax, everything's going to be fine. I'll see you later today." She said with finality.
"All right; be careful. I hope it doesn't snow; that would really screw this up." Looking for the bad in any situation was a family trait which Jesse tended to oppose by acting overly optimistic, but she'd rather be wrong and positive than right and negative. Another of the many defense mechanisms developed for psychological survival in the alcoholic family.
"Julia, go! Drive carefully, and I will see you later. Bye." Tightening the reins on a bull can be very tricky, and the success of such a maneuver is based solely on sheer dumb luck. She could buck all she wanted, but Jesse was finished talking.
"Okay, okay! Bye," Julia said at last.
Julia is the oldest of the three children, and possesses an extremely dominant personality, considering it her personal responsibility not only dictate people's goals, but also to direct the manner in which they are to be accomplished. She sinks her bulldog teeth into an idea, plan or project, and will not release it until every particle has been thoroughly licked clean of potential pitfalls, and all possible outcomes are hypothetically resolved. There is no quest she cannot conquer. She has an unlimited reserve of energy and doesn't know the meaning of the statement, 'take it easy.' Productivity is the gauge she uses to measure her own and everyone else's worth. Julia could make dynamite jumpy. She wears her heart on her sleeve and would give a loved one the shirt off her back, but those in her world know the shirt is red, and at any time they might be on the receiving end of an emotional stampede.
After finishing packing and leaving a note for Kali's caretaker, Jesse had some time before the cab was due and the uneasiness was nagging at her again, in addition to her throbbing neck that appeared overnight. She sat on the couch and closed her eyes. Kali jumped up and curled into her lap, and Jesse absently petted her for a minute, then tried to return to the silence. Her mind racing, she let the uneasiness intensify in an effort to get clarification. The endlessly amusing challenge of meditation: shutting up, Jesse decided. If I am not being loveful, I am being fearful, she told herself. She shifted her goal from clarification to peace. Then it dawned on her: Accept it. Love what is. She let this float around for several minutes and before she long she heard a knocking on the front door. She opened her eyes and realized she felt calmer. Thank you, God. She was still aware of her neck, but would get to that later. She opened the door and said hello to a smiling, dark-skinned man about her height who asked, "Taxi cab, ma'am?"
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