Pack Wood, Feed Stoves
Jesse phoned her friend Melanie late in the evening to tell her
the news about moving and give her the flight info so she could meet her plane.
She didn't mention the angelship, but wasn't exactly sure why. Spiritual
pretentiousness, or something. The sting of losing her friends pervaded Jesse's
body, and after hanging up she didn't feel sleepy and wanted to be distracted
from her mind; so she curled up on the recliner in the great room and watched
TV, leaving the sound off. Her gaze roved around the room, taking in its
welcoming warmth and drawing in a comfort of some sort, she noticed.
The star
of the room was an 1870 Weber box baby grand piano with ornate lions' heads
adorning the legs. Every once in a while the master of the house would surprise
and entertain the guests by sitting down without so much as a sheet of music,
ask for requests, finger his way along the keyboard for a few minutes, then turn
out a fine rendition. Jesse loved to listen to her father play, but sadly, he
seldom did any more. Reality and memories mingled together, creating a
melancholy that she preferred to avoid, so she switched off the TV and went
upstairs to journal:
Dear God,
I truly do not know what to think about any of this and somehow
I realize that this might be the point: to lose my mind and trust, but I just
can't let go. Part of me wants to get attached to this notion of being special,
and part of me wants to caution against identifying with yet another title. I
was just beginning to release the titles I had. I don't get it. I mostly don't
get my folks. Did they have some overnight spiritual awakening? If so, frankly,
I'm jealous. I've been striving, struggling, studying and working toward just
such an experience and without warning, they become the gurus of the family. Am
I trying too hard? Show me what to do, please, and if nothing else, do not let
my ego get hold of this!
She put down her pen and watched out the window for a while,
then picked up her copy of Prather and read:
The biggest hindrance to our spiritual progress is our
suspicion that we are being asked to figure something out and do something other
than rest in peace
She wrote:
How can I even imagine that it's easier to try to
figure out the nature of the universe instead of just rest in peace? And I can't
even remember to buy stamps.
Smiling and sleepy, she turned off the lights and snuggled into
the covers.
"Good evening, miss; how do you do? My name is William.
Shall we begin tonight's instruction?" A tall, lean, meticulously groomed
gentleman about fifty sat next to Jesse, again, on a cloud. He was dressed in a
dark silk, pin striped suit, a dark grey felt fedora and completing the
aristocratic impression, a light grey ascot was draped stylishly around his
neck.
"Hello, William. I'm Jesse, or do you already know that?
I'm still getting used to how things are done here. Wherever here is. Where are
we, anyway?"
"Not to worry, I'm the orientation angel, but I was busy
last time so Rita filled in for me. And much to my chagrin, as it happens, we
are on Cloud Number Nine." Jesse tried to cover her giggling with her hand.
"Yes, well, laugh if you must. We might just as easily
have been assigned to Cloud Number Forty-Seven, but a certain dispatcher
delights in pulling my pocket watch chain. By the way, how did your first Night
Lighting go?" William's distinctly pretentious mannerisms sharply
contrasted Rita's casual, laid back style.
"Um, well, I'm not sure how to measure it, but I'd say,
not great. I mean, I was afraid of falling, and then, another angel, Tim, had to
hold the light because I didn't get there in time, and then I was too afraid to
try to get back to the cloud with Rita." Jesse reported meekly.
"Excellent! Not bad, not bad at all, miss. Some folks
never even make it off the cloud the first time. Don't be so hard on yourself,
but that is a pattern with your ego, isn't it?"
"Is that your gift, analyzing egos?"
"Mercy, no, wouldn't that be a dreary gift? Come along,
then, now, I understand Claire is your mother, so I'm quite sure you haven't
arrived with much information.
"That's an understatement."
"Well, then, moving along. Let's see, first of all, did
Rita tell you that for a while you would not remember much about night lighting
when you were mobile?"
"Yes."
"Good enough. Now, it will take only a short time for your
body to adjust to the absence of sleep, usually a few months in clock time, and
eventually you will be able to spend your entire sleep time night lighting.
Naturally, you can expedite this process, but few choose to do this; pity, few
choose to do it at all for any reason."
"What do I need to do to expedite the process?"
"Be quiet."
Jesse froze, recalling her encounter with Tim the last time.
She was silent for several moments and William looked down at her
quizzically.
"Cat got your tongue, dear?"
"You said to be quiet."
"Delightful! No dear, I meant that being quiet, or
meditating, is what you must do to expedite the process of increasing night
lighting."
"Oh. But if I don't remember my time here, how will I know
I need to spend more time in meditation?"
"Bravo, my dear! Excellent question. Tell yourself while
you're here, and it will be remembered by your subconscious. However, it is
imperative that you listen to this call to be quiet. Don't ignore it now."
"What happens if I ignore it now?"
"It's not what happens, it's what doesn't. Now, moving
along. Tonight's lesson is Materializing. This is the term we use for moving
about from one spot to another. In the beginning, it's common to exert far more
energy than is actually necessary to accomplish this task, so don't fret. The
more you do it, the more confidence you will acquire. All you need do is gently
see in your mind where you want your body to be placed, and poof, you're
there."
"Poof?"
"Go right ahead and make fun, dear, but I have given this
speech seven hundred, forty-five thousand, six hundred and thirty-nine times, so
I spice it up to keep it interesting. Now, then, I'm sure Rita explained that
your guardian angel is at a seminar, correct?"
"Yes."
"Very well. I believe it runs until the end of the month,
but you're never without assistance, so it's not an issue. Are you ready?"
"Ready for what?"
"To materialize."
"I don't know. Am I?"
"Not very sure of yourself, are you? You finally get the
answers to your questions and still you question. The bottomless pit of the ego.
Here we go. See that tree over there? Go to it now, please."
It hadn't been there a moment before, but now a beautiful oak
tree stood, or levitated, about a hundred yards away from where they sat. Jesse
looked at William, took a deep breath, closed her eyes and pictured the tree in
her mind. She heard William's voice softly encouraging her to relax and she
tried. She felt her body lifting from the cloud, but she began to panic and
opened her eyes.
"I'm afraid, William. I'm afraid of falling."
"Well, I would say landing is more precisely what you
fear. Alright, then, think about falling. Off you go then." And with that
he pushed Jesse off the cloud and she spiraled into a fall, yelling, screaming
and thrashing. She could not stop herself, and before she knew it she was
sitting on the ground. "Bastard! You sonofabitch! Why did you do
that!?" Jesse shrieked.
"Yes, that's what they all say. But you see, nothing
happened. Now visualize sitting here next to me and you shall return." He
said as he peered down at her over the edge of the cloud.
"Nothing happened?! You pushed me! You know, you angels
are rude, arrogant, impatient and frankly, not all that helpful. Shouldn't you
be more, more, holy or something?"
"Child of God, shouldn't you?" He calmly retorted.
After being humbled into silence, Jesse was determined to
materialize back to the cloud, but going up turned out to be just as difficult
as going down, and her frustration mounted.
"Hello, Jesse. I'm on a break from the seminar and was
called to you. I'm Annie, your guardian angel, it's lovely to see you
again." She leaned into Jesse and held her close for a moment, kissed her
on each cheek, then stood before her, positively glowing. Annie was the
quintessential mother earth with her thick, golden hair billowing off her
shoulders, tinkling bracelets and earrings jingling like tiny bells as she
moved, the rustling of her long, flowing skirt and her wholesome complexion.
She reminded Jesse of Glinda, the Good Witch of the North in
Wizard of Oz. That's my favorite movie, she thought curiously. How odd? Or is
it?
"You're my, my, my guardian angel? Hi, I mean, I don't
know what to say. My God, you're glowing. The others didn't glow, are you
special?"
"Easy, ego body, no, darling, we glow for those we watch
over. That way our lights connect more tightly. Still working on the
specialness, I see."
"Have you known me all my life?"
"Longer, darling, much longer. No time right now for
questions, I only have a few moments. You seem to be blocking your power. As
always, right, darling?"
"It seems sort of pointless to say anything but yes."
"There is more truth in that statement than you yet
realize. Close your eyes and breathe, Jesse. You are perfectly safe and
perfectly loved..." Jesse's eyes widened at this phrase. "Ah, ah, ah,
another time, remember? The power that causes the sun to rise, flowers to grow,
your heart to beat and the universe to unfold, is available to you always,
Jesse, call on it. Call on it now."
Suddenly, Jesse felt herself lifting off the ground and
shooting upward, and the next instant she opened her eyes and was sitting next
to William.
"I did it! I did it! Oh, my God, that was too cool!
William, I did it! Wait, where's Annie?"
"She had to return to the seminar. Congratulations, my
dear. Well done."
"But I want to see her again. She's so beautiful. My God,
she glowed. How did she get me here? There's so much, William... I want to see
her again. How come I want to see her so much, but I don't really miss her that
she's not here now?"
"Love."
"What do you mean?"
"The ego wants to see her body because that's what it
believes in, but your soul recognizes that love does not require a body.
Incidentally, she did not get you here. You did that. She simply gave you a leg
up, so to speak. Now, we must continue. Go to the tree now, please."
Jesse's mind was spinning, but she tried to focus. She
visualized being next to the tree, noticing that she held the thought more
loosely in her mind this time, and continued to let it be there, without
grasping at it. She opened her eyes and there stood the oak tree, right next to
her.
"Yeah, I did it! Hey, William, I did it!" She waved
excitedly at him and he nodded approvingly. "You want me to come back
now?!" She yelled.
"First of all, you do not have to yell. And secondly, this
concludes our session tonight, my dear. Good work. See you next time." He
was gone. Jesse opened her eyes and saw it was still dark, rolled over and went
back to sleep.
©2004 StoriesByEmail.com
|
