Your Instructor is Professor Taltos
Dear Prof. Taltos,
I was wondering if you have any advice for a good old boy, looking for the good old days. My wife passed away five years ago, and now I find I'm really lonely. I'm retired and would sure like some company when I go on my trips.
My wife and I used to go together to all kinds of places, and I still like to travel, but I need some company to go with.
Would it be wrong for me to advertise for a companion or do you have any ideas how I should go about this?
Lonely in Washington
Dear Mr. Washington,
STOP! Stop doing whatever you’re doing, sit down and read the following lesson very carefully! I don’t want to frighten you away from finding a special person to share your years, but I do want to give you and any other seniors a little piece of advice, Prof. Taltos style.
This may be a little off the topic for our lesson plans, but I really need to get this message out. It frightens me when I hear from people who are lonely and in need of companionship. I know that this is one of the most vulnerable times of your life and anyone who wants to take advantage of you will know it too. When you’re dealing with online relationships, you’re even more vulnerable than ever. It’s easy to deceive a person when you can be anything you want to be. That’s exactly what can happen if you don’t use a wee
bit of common sense and think with your head instead of your heart.
Now if you’re paying attention I will attempt to keep you out of trouble. (I’m just giving you a hard time). I realize how intense and painful loneliness can be, and I think anyone who would take advantage of a person in this state is a sad excuse for a human being. However my opinion of these individuals is irrelevant, there will always be those capable of this kind of behavior.
Your job, Mr. Washington, is to find a good companion who is the right kind of person for you. I know this sounds a bit cold, but sometimes you have to look at life like a business venture. If you want to be successful, then be willing to look at all angles of the venture and be sure it’s what you want. Remember you’re looking for someone to spend a lot of time with you and enjoy the kind of things you enjoy, such as traveling. Take the time to be friends first and lovers later. By taking
time now, you will find someone just right for you and hopefully the two of you will have great times together.
It really doesn’t matter where you meet this person, but keep in mind the
no-nos when it comes to looking for a mate. Bars and online aren’t the best places to start looking for someone. In both situations the person you’re dealing with may have false fronts. In a bar you’re usually dealing with alcohol,
which can cause people to be less than honest with others. Online is basically the same deal, but
you're in a little better situation. At least when you’re online the person can’t physically harm you, unless you’re silly enough to let them know where you live.
Once again I find I must harp on the dangers of today’s society. Many things have changed: some for the better and some for the
worse; either way we are expected to be able to survive in the world today. The question of surviving safely comes down to simply having some common sense. Take the time to really get to know you’re new found friend. Remember if it doesn’t feel right,
online or in the real world, then it isn’t right for you. That funny "I’m not sure"
feeling you get is your instinct's way of protecting you. Listen to the voice in you’re head, your instincts will never steer you wrong.
When it comes to advertising for a companion, I think you must be willing to do your homework. This means checking out their life story as it’s told to you and being up front about it. It can’t hurt to let the person know you’re feeling a wee bit insecure and will be checking on their background. Anyone who objects to this is already telling you
they're not being up front with you and should be avoided at all costs.
I also suggest you meet your possible new friend in a nice, open, public kind of place. Somewhere when, if you get that funny feeling you can make a plausible excuse and exit the situation. I have to say that any lady worth your effort won’t object to this and will appreciate your situation.
The bottom line in all this, Sir, is you have to take your time and really be sure of what you’re getting yourself into. Please, don’t settle for anything less!
I sincerely wish you all the best, Mr. Washington, let me know how things turn out for you.
Prof. Taltos
Well that’s about all for today. Keep those e-mails coming! I’d really like to hear the gay perspective on things these days.
You can always reach me at proftaltos@yahoo.ca.
Until next time this is the Prof. signing off!
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