Let's take an honest look!
Your instructor is Professor Taltos
Hello again! Welcome back! I'm glad to see your still hanging in there with us. Last time I had started off with my first experience. Once again I must apologize for the length of time it has taken me to complete my introduction to the first time. I quickly came to realize I was going to have to dig very deep in my writer's bag of tricks. That is if I was to get the full impact of chat rooms across to you. Cyber-land was a far more complex issue than I had ever dreamed it would be.
As I was saying I had a blast that first night. This first experience was so nice it helped me see that, even when we think we know what to expect, you never know until you try it for yourself. Sometimes the experience is a nightmare, one never to be repeated. Occasionally we are lucky enough to be pleasantly surprised at what we find. This was one such occasion.
I came away from my first experience realizing that I had been one of those who judged the cyber chats as a sick perverted way to say anything goes. But in reality I have found people who feel and care about each other just as we do in the real world. Loyalty and honor run hard and deep in cyber-land. I have also found an amazing range of highly intelligent people. With an amazing range of interests that they are always willing to share.
The people I've met in chats have no problem sharing their feelings and beliefs with the rest of the world. They are always happy to have someone to teach and they are gentle caring teachers. Showing a great deal of patience and tolerance when it comes to dealing with newcomers. I will say it's a lot easier to be a nice person when the whole thing is done anonymously. But it has been my experience that most of the cyber people I have met have sincerity about them I don't find in the real world.
I have never come away from a chat room feeling that I was ignored or treated like an idiot because I wasn't sure what I was doing yet. This has created a world I want to learn more about. Not all in cyber-land is true blue and sweet. There are some really harsh areas that I feel are better left alone. And there are some areas in chats I don't think have a place in any world.
Having said that I will now begin the tale of my experience in my first s.& m. room. I will ask ahead of time that you hold your laughter down to a dull roar, if you can. The whole thing was something out of a bad dream. The only difference with this bad dream is it has a happy ending. Thanks once again to some very kind individuals who were willing to take a lot of their time teaching me the proper protocol in each and every one of the rooms I have ventured into.
As with each new experience I go through I try hard to do my homework. And I pride myself in being thorough. I take a lot of time doing the background research. The only problem with trying to prepare for going into an s. & m. room is I had no way to do any research for this. Let me explain.
I have read my fair share of steamy novels. And I've seen a few porno's in my day. But I have drawn the line at actually participating. I'm a wimp and I hate pain, especially when it's my pain. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it, it just hasn't been my cup of tea.
I'm still a firm believer that anything two 'consenting adults' do behind closed doors is just fine by me. However I found I had relatively little first hand knowledge to draw upon. Up to this point I was still squeamish over some of the stuff I saw on my satelite.
So feeling rather silly and once again slightly intimidated I ventured into my first s. & m. room. Even though my first experience had been positive I still had shadows of doubts. But once again I reminded myself it wasn't like it was real, I could simply click out if I chose to.
I wasn't surprised to be welcomed as if I had been going there for years. This is the way with the people in cyber-land. No one is ever a stranger. It's nice. So the welcome was the usual stuff. But I swear I was all creeped out. I felt like I was being leered at. I wasn't going to admit to being so silly but I had to tell you the truth. If you get this feeling don't think your nuts it's common. I've asked others I have met in chat and many have admitted to me that they too have felt this way at times. Especially the first time you start to go to chat.
After my usual introduction I sat back and began watching the conversations. It seemed pretty tame; some were even just chatting about daily things. At first I thought I wasn't in the right place. Somehow it wasn't what I was expecting. Then I looked at the bottom of my screen and saw the blink, blink of a whisper.
I took a deep breath and clicked on to my first s. & m. whisper, hoping I wasn't going to regret it. I didn't want to be disillusioned with my newfound friends. For some (I'm sure childish) reason I had butterflies in my stomach as I answered the blinking.
I'm sure to any one who hasn't gone to chat rooms this all sounds pretty silly to you. This wasn't a real world and these people weren't real people. So what the hell was I worried about?
Somehow when you go to chats, and if you have the right kind of attitude things change. It's all on a different kind of mental level. Things have a way of becoming very real in cyber-land. A true chat room person knows what I mean by this. But it is almost impossible to explain what happens when you go there.
My whisper was called 'sir*knight'. He began with, "Hi how are you today?" It was a simple question. "I'm fine ty." I replied. I gave him my usual happy face, I figured that was cute enough. I still have the hang of flirting in chat rooms. It requires some very imaginative dialogue. But I felt I was getting along not too bad.
I wasn't quite sure how I was going to go about this. I had pretty well decided to let him have free rein and I would follow. I realized doing things that way was turning it into a crapshoot. All I could do was hope he would be a good teacher. I sure didn't have any idea as to how to go about this.
I was soon to learn that in order to be a good teacher, you need a good student to teach in the first place. I am ashamed to admit I don't think I was a good student. Not in this case any way.
'sir*knight' was a young man I believe. He typed "Hi honey." And that was all. I have noticed in chat that older men are more romantic and more apt to send a flower or some such sentiment. Where as the younger men are much more abrupt and to the point.
I think the older guys have it right. I personally responded much better to a romantic jester than an abrupt approach. His next question told me I was right about him being younger.
Before I typed anything back he was asking me " What are you into, baby???" The straightforward approach, although there is nothing wrong with it, I'm afraid it has no appeal for me. When it comes to a man coming on to me I need a gentle approach. For some reason in the chat rooms this kind of approach annoyed me.
A little bit of honey goes along way with me. If you were at a bar or some such social function I don't think "Hey baby lets get it on." would work as a good pick up line. The same is true for me in the chats. I like to be romanced slightly. It's just my personal preference.
I however realized that I didn't have a clue how things were done in this particular chat room. It could be everyone was abrupt. I let it slide and left it at my usual greeting. I decided to wait and see if he pushed the issue.
" I said what are you into bitch?" There wasn't any mistaking his tone or attitude. I sat staring at the words on my computer screen. Feeling like I had been smacked. I sat stunned for a second.
"Damn it woman do you want to play or not???" Again he made sure I knew he thought he was tough. At least he was pretending to be. Now anyone, who knows me, knows that a rude man doesn't do well in my world. I find rudeness unnecessary and usually the result of a male chauvinist spouting off at the mouth. Not much intelligence comes out just a lot of hot air. I could feel my anger rise a little at his remarks but I was willing to let it be for now. As I said I wasn't sure of the protocol.
I finally decided to explain my situation to him and see if he would be willing to teach me the ropes. I started with "This is my first time here. Would you be willing to teach me the ropes?" I put a flower at the end of the sentence and carried on with. " I'm also a writer and this is part of my research." Then I sat back and waited for him to reply.
He asked simply. " What are you writing??" It was a question I was getting use to answering. My reply was fast become a well-rehearsed speech. " I have a few stories I have written. They are on line if you wish to read them...ect.ect." I always ended my little speech with a guarantee that all personal information I get will never be revealed to the public in any of my books unless I am given permission to use it. I take pride in my discretion.
He seemed to be thinking for a moment before he answered me. I wondered if he thought I was some kind of nut case. Or if he realized I was serious and maybe he would help me. It took a few more moments before he typed back. "Hummm very interesting! What can I do to help." I felt the air escape from me, I hadn't realized I was holding my breath.
"I have never experienced s. and m. before, not in the real world or here in chats. I don't know if it's my cup of tea or not but could you explain to me what would be considered a normal nights events, if you know what I mean. If we started that way it may help me understand the appeal."
I could only hope I was being clear enough in my request. "I continued on with. "I believe I have to experience the things I write about. I couldn't write any other way." I waited again wondering after a few moments if he was having second thoughts.
When he finally answered me he surprised me. I was expecting a bunch of questions about my writing and what I was doing in the chat rooms. And then maybe we would get to it. But he didn't beat around the bush. He simply typed back, "Alright sweetheart. Follow my lead and make sure you pay attention I don't like repeating myself!"
I bristled slightly at his tone again but answered back with a quick "Ok ty. I can take direction well when I try."
I was in the middle of drinking my coffee when his words came across my computer screen again. I was choking as I reread what he had typed in. I wasn't surprised by his words but I was surprised by the reaction I felt when I read them for the third time.
"To begin with realize this, I am your master and you will obey me. From this point on, if you truly want to learn, you will never question any of my actions. Now walk towards me slowly. Taking your clothes off as you do. I want to see if I am going to be pleased with my new purchase."
It was at this point I began to laugh. First I tried to answer him. Then I tried to obey his command. But I had no idea what to say. I kept typing and retyping but when I read the words I knew he would be able to tell I wasn't taking it, any of it seriously. Finally I decided to come clean.
"Please forgive me I simply can't seem to do this. It's my fault I have the wrong attitude I think. But I just can't do this. Not right now any way. I am truly sorry." It was all I could think to say to him. I sat back and waited sure he would leave now. My mind was already trying to come up with a better way to try this the next time, if there was a next time.
I'm sure I had the world's dumbest grin on my kisser as I read his reply. "It's ok hun this isn't ever easy the first time. Let's try something else. Tell me, baby do you have any really deep fears or phobias. Honest it's ok I'm not mad but if you tell me about you maybe I can help you better."
He understood and the relief I felt was unexpected. I realized how much I wanted to get this right. I wondered why these things were so important to me. In that moment I realized I was way to tense. (I really need a vacation)
It seemed he sensed my tension and it seemed he didn't mind! I was a lucky Prof., and I knew it. I wasn't about to let him slide away so I decided now would be a good time to try to let lose and see what happens. I answered his previous question. " I am extremely claustrophobic. I haven't taken an elevator in years and I can't walk into a walk-in closet. That is my worst fear, being trapped." I hated admitting I had any weakness. Especially to a stranger but I knew it was only fair he was being pretty good about the whole thing so far.
"Do you know why you fear being trapped?" he asked.
"Yes I need to have control over my situations, yes I am aware of that fact." My response was more clinical than I meant but I was uncomfortable being analyzed by anyone.
"Let me tell you a story my friend and then you can tell me if you want to experience this or not." I wasn't sure what he was driving at but I simply typed back "ok." I sat back and waited as he began to type in his story for me.
I hate to say it my friends but I am going to continue on with this next time. Once again, as seems to be common in this lesson plan, I find I have rattled on long enough. I will say good bye for now and I hope to see you next lesson when we will finish with the s.&m. lifestyles of chats.
Until then this is Professor Taltos signing off!
A few more little tid-bits to ponder.
Ge = good evening
oic = oh I see
Swak = sealed with a kiss
we = what ever
?4u = question for u
>u! = screw you
yrg = you are good
aayf = as always your friend
aslp = age, sex, location, picture
bme = based on my experience
diik = darned if I know
gal = get a life
©2003 StoriesByEmail.com
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