Lesson Ten!
Using Your Common Sense!
Your Instructor is Professor Taltos
As I was lying in bed
the other night, (yes I do sleep sometimes), I began thinking about
working on my next lesson plan. Suddenly I was hit with the realization
that I have pretty well covered what I could about the dangers in chats.
I’m sure I have missed so very important facts that I should be giving
you. I am only human after all and even I can miss things. But really I
can’t say that there are any more dangers on-line than there is in the
real world. I have to be honest the real world scares me a hell of a lot
more than anything I have ever found in chat rooms.
A
few years ago I was living outside of the city on a farm. I was living
alone and my closest neighbor wasn’t very close at all. My sister asked
me one-day “Aren’t you scared being out here by yourself?” I had to
tell her that, honestly I preferred to live alone and in the country. I
explained to her that I was always scared when I lived in the city. I told
her I was terrified of the human factor in our world, not the natural
things that come with country living. She just shook her head and walked
away mumbling to herself.
I know my poor sister has many grave fears when
it comes to me. I would like to take this opportunity to point out to her
that common sense has never been a problem for me. I just look at the
world in a vaguely different way than she does. I would also like to take
this time to thank her for all the worry she has carried for me all these
years. It hasn’t been unnoticed, sis. Thank you!
At any rate, my faithful followers, (lol), I
have come to the conclusion my best advice to you will be’ Use common
sense!’ Practice the same common sense that you would if you were
meeting someone in the real world. Just remember at all times, that this
isn’t the real world. A person can be anything or anyone they want to be
when they are on-line. And some of us are pretty good actors (I know I
am). I have found out I am a darn good role player too, (wink, wink).
All kidding aside, I beg of you, please be very
careful when revealing private information on-line. Remember that your
family is the most important thing in this world. Anything that can cause
pain or conflict to your family unit isn’t worth doing. And the pain
caused may not be repairable. Think very carefully before you decide
you’re in love with that individual you have met on-line. It’s a far
cry from chatting on-line to waking up next to that person for the rest of
your life. The one thing about love that I am sure of is that, love
isn’t easily found and it can be very easily lost.
Look at love as extremely fragile, like a
butterfly’s wings. I’ve
seen first hand what happens to a family when infidelity comes along. I
know too well how deep the scars run when one’s love is betrayed. Some
kinds of hurt never heal properly. I think that if your privileged enough
to be truly loved, you should treat this love with the respect it
deserves. I know that’s a little long winded but I can’t stress enough
how important this is.
That night as I was lying in bed thinking about
all this I came to another conclusion. First I decided I needed to get rid
of the little voice that lives in my head. It keeps me awake at night far
too much. And secondly I decided that there is a lot to be said for cyber
relationships. The people that actually meet face to face from the chat
rooms and decide to really get to know each other have a definite
advantage over the real world. They have met in a place where the physical
aspects really don’t matter. I know they should never matter anyway but
I see, in my real world, how much a persons appearance does matter.
I know if someone really butt ugly comes your way you probably
aren’t going to strain yourself seeking out his or her company.
In cyber-land there is a softening of the blow,
so to speak. Couples spend a lot of time talking, really getting to know
each other. In the real world there seems to be a lot of performing rather
than getting to know each other. I call this the dance and we all have
done it at one time or another. The dance is simply the period of time
when you have to be perfect and all that involves your new relationships
is perfect also. The dance usually lasts for a very short period of time
and then real world comes crashing in ruining everything.
Oddly cyber-land relationships, the ones that do
work out have a good beginning. I know this seems odd too but the
beginning is good because all there is to a cyber relationship is
communication. Because of the communication, if you have a true and honest
relationship. You will know your mates fears, likes, dislikes, flaws and
all the things that makes them who they are. You have learnt all those
things about your intended mate long before you have a chance to begin the
dance. Perhaps by the time the two of you meet you won’t need to do the
dance. Perhaps you and your mate will be able to just enjoy a nice long
walk together, a walk that will take you together through life.
I have found that being honest comes easy to me
in the chat rooms. It’s easy to be honest when I know I will probably
never meet that person eye to eye. Let’s face facts. It’s much easier
to be honest about ourselves if we never have to see the looks of
disapproval we think we might get. And we all, yes no matter who you are,
we all have our own skeletons hidden away. Somehow it’s much easier to
share some of those secrets from a place where you know your safe and no
one is going to judge you.
I am fully aware that there may be those of you
that will say “Yes but those are the exact same reason a person will lie
to you about themselves on line.” This is very true, it’s easy to lie
or hide things in cyber-land, and anyone can do it.
This is a good point and a very valid one. Which
is why I keep coming back to my favorite expression, “For crying out
loud people, use some common sense!” Ladies don’t allow yourselves to
be a willing victim. Not every man you meet is going to be a doctor or
lawyer or owns his own sailboat and you should know that. Gentlemen the
same goes for you! We aren’t all super models, trust me. We don’t all
have a great body and are doing porn movies to make enough to go to law
school. Some of us are just average everyday kind of stiffs. A lot of the
people you meet on-line are just that, an average person. You would be
wise to try to always remember that.
I would like to point out that there are some
that believe these things in cyber-land are real. There are some who lie
to become someone else when they are in the chat rooms. Generally speaking
these individuals won’t want to meet face to face. It would ruin the
illusion they’ve created. Usually they shy away from anyone that may
hint at meeting in person. Theses individuals have worked hard to become
something their not in real life. They created an illusion and want to
keep it alive. They have to stay in cyber-land. Cyber-land is the only
place where the illusion can exist.
Common sense, (yes I said it again), tells me
that if you want to have a relationship with someone you will be meeting
in person. Therefore you will find out if the person is being honest when
you meet them. If they have lied about their appearance obviously you will
see that. If they have been dishonest about other things those too will
come out eventually. I think the average person knows these things. And I
believe that the average person doesn’t want to handle the hassle of
covering up lies. Therefore it makes sense, to me, that generally the
average person tires not to stretch the truth too far. But of course these
are only my opinions and I’m just an average person.
I have to say I believe that average is a good
thing. Average in my opinion is those of us who work, play, eat and
breathe. Some average people do great things and some write prize winning
novels. Some average people don’t like to write and some don’t become
famous in any way, passing through the world unnoticed. In one way or the
other I believe that we are all average.
I also believe there is something fascinating
about average everyday kind of people. I have found a whole new realm of
my imagination thanks to some of the average people I have met on-line.
These average people welcomed me into their cyber-worlds. Some of them
spent a lot of their time teaching me how to reach out and grab hold of my
imagination. Some of the places I found in cyber-land seemed as real to me
as some of the places I got to in my real world. I have participated in
fantasies on-line that literally took my breath away. And yet I never left
my keyboard. All of these things are because of average people.
Of course there are dangers in chats. There are
some people in chats who see incest and other perversions as normal
behavior. These are the ones I stay away from and these are the ones that
truly frighten me. These aren’t average people but sadly they are a part
of life. They are part of life in chat rooms and in the real world. And
these are the people I will warn everyone I know about.
Some of these people can be dangerous and very
manipulating. When it comes to these kinds of people my best advice to you
would be stay away from them. Don’t give them the chance to try to
manipulate you. Don’t let them into your world. It doesn’t matter if
it’s the real world or the wonderful world of cyber-sex. If you open the
door to your world be sure you can trust the person you are welcoming in.
Use your common sense as you walk through the chat rooms and practice some
discretion when it comes to your personal information. I believe that is
the best advice I can give you.
When we meet again I would like to go a little
further into the sexual playgrounds that can be found in cyber-land. There
are some very big do’s and don’t when it comes to these rooms. I think
it’s time to share a few of those with you also.
Until next time this is Professor Taltos signing
off.
Cynthia G.
McCaffrey
A few more acronyms for you.
Bbiab = be back in a bit
k = okay
Kwim = know
what I mean
L8r = later
Nrn = no way
rfc = request for comment
Sly = still love you
tia = thanks is advance
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