The Anger With-In!
Hello again! In my last chapter I left you with a promise on how to deal with anger. That anger that surfaces for no real apparent reason and sometimes can darn near eat you up inside.
I woke up the other morning, the sun was shinning, and my little world was as it usually is. Yet I spent my whole day hoping something would come along that deserved being tied into. I WAS BITCHY! There was no way around it. And I was confused as to why.
After a lot of soul searching and some down right painful self examination I have come to the conclusion that I really am not sure why I sometimes feel this way. However I am not alone and I can do something about it.
If I awake to a day that is all of a sudden gloomy and miserable I have to back track and try to be honest enough about myself to see why. This is where I am going to start my short but well meant lecture to any woman reading this. I beg of you please, for crying out loud, stop and think about your health issues!
Listen to your body and remember some basic rules. You are the only one who can know when there is a lump or a problem of any kind physically. A doctor is the only one who can diagnose you but you have to take the initiative by going to see your physician.
I have lost my Mother, my Aunt and my Grandmother to cancer. My sister is a breast cancer survivor. This puts me in an extremely high-risk gene pool. All facts I have to be aware of and act on. For my own good and the good of my family, who depend on me. I can not afford to ignore the facts. I can not afford to put off my own personal health. And I believe that far too many women do just that!!!
Women tend to take care of everyone else and leave themselves at the bottom of the list. The kids get to the dentist or the doctor when needed. I bet a lot of us even make sure our animals have their shots and check-ups on time. Yet when it comes to going for the dreaded Pap smear or complete physical we will come out with all kinds of excuses why we don't have the time.
Ladies not only is this just plain illogical it is a very dangerous attitude. As much as we are convinced some sadistic man came out with some of the stuff we have to endure, we still need to take care of ourselves. Our families and friends depend on us to be around for them in the years to come. So please don't be putting off what is necessary for you to stay healthy!
Besides the physical health there is also the mental health aspect of things. It is my opinion that far too many women run what I call, the mental tight rope in life. We have an amazing ability to run on almost an automatic pilot as we dash through our day. We function very well going in all kinds of different directions. My mate is always amazed when I can run after the little ones, finish my outside work and still have time to pick up a book once in awhile. Little does the world know that by the end of most days I find it all runs into a big blur for me. Time fly's away yet I am never sure what I have done with it.
Once I realized this fact I also realized that I had to keep aware of the possibility of going bonkers. My way of saying," Be sure you do a mental check every once in awhile." If, like me, you find yourself waking up to a nice day and not knowing why your so bitchy then there may be a problem.
After going through a thorough brain check I came up with a few interesting possibilities:
If you look at the one you love and you have an uncontrollable urge to smack him. Then perhaps there is an issue the two of you should be dealing with. Deal with it as soon as possible before the small issues turn into really big nasty monsters. Monsters that can cause resentment and anger. Which in turn becomes a lot of hard feelings. When you look at what could happen, dealing with the issues by talking about them seems easy.
If by chance you have a mate that tends to drift off when you're trying to talk to him I have a suggestion. Don't let him! Approach the problem like you would a business deal.
Propose what the problem is. Suggest what could happen if you don't make repair's soon. Enter you bid for a solution and then seal you deal with a kiss. This works very well if you don't tend to carry on about things. If you tend to be a bit of a fishwife then you're never going to have a chance to make your point. Not when it really matters.
To carry on with the anger issues:
If you get up with your kids and find you can't wait until they get out the door to school, perhaps you need a little bit of down time. Talk to your mate; be honest about how you're feeling. It doesn't make you a bad Mom to feel this way. It makes you a better Mom when you reach out for help in whatever way you can when you need it.
If you look at your home and hate the way it looks, don't go nuts redecorating. Pick a small change in one room first and see when it's done if you feel the same way. Usually I feel much better about it and I find I don't really have the time to completely redo everything. Which in the long run saves me some cash.
Do you have to literally drag your butt out of bed to go to work because you hate your job so much? Then I have an easy solution to try first. First of all don't start sabotaging your work so you will get fired. If you have an approachable boss then by all means try talking to them. But I find it usually doesn't work that way.
I try looking for a diversion. Since I'm my own boss, so to speak, it doesn't help to complain. I change the back ground on the computer. But my favorite is to do something a little off the wall and amuse myself seeing how long it takes some one to notice.
For example, once I put on really gaudy pink lipstick, then I walked around with it on for a while. Finally I couldn't stand it any more and I asked why no one had said a word to me. The men said they didn't notice and my daughter (the only other female around) admitted she thought it was odd for me but she didn't want to be impolite, in case I liked the lipstick. This amused the hell out of me.
When I first came out wearing the damn lipstick I couldn't help but see the look of horror on my daughter's face. I could only imagine what she was thinking. It's the little things I get a kick out of. I found that this also told me a lot about how observant men are when it comes to a woman they see every day.
The point is, sometimes you don't have to go to extremes to feel better about things. But you do have to be aware of what makes your brain tick the way it does. And you have to be able to admit when you are having problems. Admit you're human and the world is an overpowering place, at times. If you don't admit these things to yourself you'll never get any relief from what's making you an angry person.
It is also my own little personal opinion that to suffer from P.M.S. and not do anything about it, is not only unfair to yourself but it is very unfair to anyone who is in any way a part of your life. There are some excellent treatments out there but once again you have to admit to the problem and then be willing to deal with it. It's selfish to expect the rest of the world to suffer along with you.
In the next and my final chapter to you I would like to say a lot of the little things I haven't said to you yet. I hope you will join me for my fond farewell.
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