Back to Basics For Women
Part 10
by Cynthia McCaffrey

A Wish List!!

I have a whole bunch of things I wanted to say. Not so much advice as much as a whole bunches of wishes.

1. I wish every man in this world could be a woman for one week. I don't think a day could cover all of it. Perhaps they would come away with a little bit of insight as to how we tick. I'm not saying men don't have a clue but sometimes it isn't entirely their fault if they don't. Women really can be the most complex creatures. And the fact that none communicates doesn't help matters. But I do think that a wee taste of how our world works wouldn't hurt matters. Not long ago my mate and I were having the ' I work harder than you' discussion. I find it pointless but he seemed to think he was putting as much he could and I disagreed. To make my point I challenged him to one day as me and I would do his job. ( Which is slightly unfair, both of us can drive truck) He declined my offer. He knows I work extremely hard at what I do and the fact that he knows it shows he's paying attention. It made me feel better somehow.
2. I wish every woman could be a man for a week. I think if we could live their life for a week perhaps we would be a little kinder to the poor souls. I really don't think I would ever want to come back as a man. As a matter of fact I'm damn glad I'm a woman! As I have mentioned before we went and changed all the rules and forgot to tell them about it. Too many times I have seen fathers get shafted in custody battles and husbands failing at their marriages because no one has ever given them a chance to learn how to make it work. We have to take some of the blame for a lot of the trouble we face as couples. Maybe if we looked at it this way sometimes we could understand and have a little more patience when they do screw up.
3. I wish every Mother and Daughter could spend a day just talking. I wish we could share so many things Mothers and Daughters miss. It would really help our cause if somehow we could realize we are all in this together. Perhaps we could split a great bottle of wine and tell dumb male bashing jokes all night. (My favorite way to pass time.) I believe if we could do this we would all come away with some degree of insight towards each other. I have always had a close relationship with my daughter. We've had some very trying times in our lives. But each time things start going nuts we somehow find each other for a little sounding board affect. It has kept us close and both of us have gotten to really see the others side of the fence.
4. I wish every Mother and Son could really look at each other. Not around each other. Not over each other but right at each other. Sometimes I fear we see our male children as the men they will someday be instead of the little boys they really are. I know of a few Mothers who actually come right out and say, " He's just like his Dad." When the child misbehaves. This is only (in my opinion) imprinting behavior in our children. If we could see them just as children. Ready to learn and grow from us. Then we could perhaps give them the chance they need to feel unique and special in this world. As all children should are. 
5. I wish we could all see once and for all that we have to become an untied force. Men and women alike. See each other as that which we are. Humans! Not us against them. The time has started to come (once again in my opinion) that our world needs to join together as a whole and stop scrambling around trying to see who can get the most control. There are times when I wake up in the middle of the night terrified that we are all going to beat each other up forever. The wars and battles are never ending yet the point is never made.
6. I wish more women would realize that if you chose to not have a child in your lifetime you aren't a freak or a hard person. You're simply stating the fact that you know what you want in your life. Mother's Day is wonderful but not everyone is a Mother. I want to add that I wish every woman who has a child or two wants them as badly as I wanted my Daughter. In this day and age we are still feeling some pressure to reproduce. I believe that some of the cases of child abuse from Mothers would be prevented if we were more accepted as who we are. Not what we are.
7. I wish there would never be another case of child abuse in my Grand children's lifetime. Child abuse is an issue that we all need to deal with directly. It haunts us all and the only thing we need to do before we hit, yell or belittle the child misbehaving is walk away for a second and count to ten. Becoming frustrated with as child is natural in my view. What is unnatural is being able to look into the innocence of a child's eyes and be able to hit anyway. There has to be a form of insanity during those moments a person hurts a child in any way and we need to realize insanity needs to be treated.
8. I wish that as little girls we could be taught to understand our full potential, not our lack of it. Our children need to know they can reach for any star they want. And they need a supportive parent to achieve that. I look at parenting as an honor. Any child whom has come into my life is a gift. A gift I take pride in helping become a responsible well-rounded person. My Mother taught me that. Yet she was a product of a world that there was a lot of things little girls couldn't do. And a lot of things little girls were suppose to grow up to become. Sadly she never saw what an amazing talented and loved person she was. She seemed to think she was limited to a life dependant on a man to help her survive. This is still a common attitude. An Attitude that needs to change.
9. I wish I could see every woman who deserves it get a great big thanks, from all the people in their lives that they work so hard to take care of. I know my Mom knew she was appreciated. I was given the honor to be able to tell her so before she passed away. But I'm not saying just Mothers deserve these thanks. Sisters, Grandmothers, Aunts, co-workers and friends all need to hear they're appreciated once in a while too. We all work hard to make our worlds the best we can. We may not always get it right but our intent is there. The men in this world deserve a lot of thanks also. But I want to let it be known as a woman I know exactly how hard we work to keep our families and homes all in working order.
10. I wish that we could all wake up tomorrow morning and be glad we're women. I am a very lucky person. If you ask me on most days: am I happy? The answer is yes. I love my world. I am always amazed at the mystical way life makes me feel. And I believe that I feel this way to a great degree because of the people who put a lot of positive influence in my world.

I am also aware of the fact that there is a lot of women who aren't happy to be who they are. And they will stay that way because no one ever helped them learn how to change things. If the rest of the world doesn't always agree with your decisions for yourself then that should be just fine. As long as you're not hurting anyone. But there are still those places in this world that believe women aren't equal to men. Frighteningly there are still those places that believe a woman isn't much better than a slave. I wish women could just be honored for who they are and not what they are.

So there you have it. This is my final chapter to you. I hope I have been in some way, if not helpful, then amusing. For my final wish I send this out to all who read it. May you have courage; strength and wisdom to guide you on whatever path you dare go down in life.

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