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Dear Prof...
I don’t
have a specific thing that I need advice on, but I would like to see where you
stand on 'cyber relationships' from a small level of attachment to a deep
involved one. I'm sure through talking to people you’ve had the one or few
who, through many different reasons (whatever they may be) started to mean
something special to you, knowing you’re in a relationship 'on the outside'.
I’m interested in knowing how your boyfriend took any of this if it ever was
brought up and how you either handle it today or have managed to stay away from
involving yourself on this type of level. I hope I made sense, and I’d like to say I’ve enjoyed reading
Back To Basics a lot.. Keep up the good lessons.. Thanks.
Reader
Dear Reader,
Thank you for the encouraging words, I’ve really enjoyed
doing Back To Basics. It’s been a great learning experience for me.
Yes, it’s true; I’ve developed feelings for some of the
people I’ve met while doing ‘Cyber-sex 101’ and Back To Basics.
To claim otherwise would be a lie. Have some of them become extra special to me?
You're damn right they have. I hope I’m as extra special to them as they are to
me. Has this made any problems for me? Well,
let me tell you a story.
There are some
things you can never plan on or see coming. Love is one of them. I wasn’t
prepared for the emotions I began to feel (not always, but occasionally) in the
chat rooms. I wasn’t prepared for the new world I was to find there or the way
some of these new emotions would affect my real world. I went to chat rooms
looking for information only. I was lucky enough to find much, much more!
I have to admit that when I decided to begin ‘cyber-sex’
I went at it with an: I’m in total control kind of attitude. I felt I was superior, somehow, to those poor
pathetic souls that haunted the chats rooms. The poor things had no kind of
life, if you had asked me. These were the kind of people I was sure I would find
in the chat rooms. It didn’t take me long to realize how wrong I was.
I had found a world where I can be anything I want to be.
I’m free to go explore the many different worlds I soon discovered existed
there. In many ways I was ‘Alice in Wonderland’. I had gladly chased my hare
into his burrow, and I would gladly return time and time again. I happily humbled
myself and began actually asking for help in my quest. It will always amaze me
how many kind souls were willing to take the many hours helping me learn to
navigate through the chats rooms. They willingly took the time to teach me what
was to be found in this new cyber-world. I will be forever grateful to them for
their efforts and patience.
As I began to experience the emotions in ‘cyber-land’,
something almost akin to panic started to set in with me. There was a moment in
time when I wasn’t sure I could handle what I was beginning to feel for some
of my new-found friends. I decided to do what I would do in any troubling
situation; I turned to my mate! I poured my heart out (as I always do), and
together we talked about, analyzed and dissected my problem. We finally came to
an understanding on the issue.
With my mate's help, I’ve come to understand there is a lot
of things in this world we don’t understand and probably never will. Our minds
are these vast endless learning machines that continually crave new information
and experiences. My mind is a constant pain in the ass, forever tormenting me,
reminding me daily that I will never live long enough to learn all that I wish
to learn. There simply isn’t enough time. However I’m a firm believer in reincarnation, and this gives me comfort somehow. Perhaps in the back of my mind
I hang onto the fact that I believe I will be back again to continue learning.
(There’s one for ‘Freud’ I guess)
My thirst for knowledge and constant search for new
adventures makes me seem a flighty person to many of my friends and family. My
mate explains these things as all part of what makes me who I am, and apparently
(in my mate’s opinion) this is a good thing.
So when I come to love some of the people I meet (as I have
and will), and if I find I am in a world where I’m turned on in ways I never
knew were possible, I have to remember that my heart is faithful to my mate and
will always be so. When it comes to my mind, it’s up to me how far I want to go
and with whom. My mate has taught me I am loved and accepted as I am.
Because of this I found the courage to write, and it’s
because of my mate I feel free enough to go explore all the things I want to
learn about. This rare quality of acceptance and unconditional love are only a
small part of the things that make my mate truly the love of my life.
I‘m sure I will never do justice in explaining what I
experience every time I return to my favorite chat rooms. It is an experience I
look forward to having more in the very near future. As I mentioned in my last
column, I’m going to be starting the first lesson in my next twenty lesson
plan, ‘ Cyber-Sex 102’. I want to still hear from any of you who wish to
e-mail me; the address is still the same, proftaltos@yahoo.ca.
My dear friend, Aunt Cynthia, will still be running her weekly column. I shall
continue answering some of my e-mails within my lesson plans. I hope to see you
all at class and please try to be on time.
For now this is the Professor Taltos signing off.
©2003 StoriesByEmail.com
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