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Hello everyone and welcome back to ‘Ask the Prof.' I
thought today we could deal with one of my favorite pet peeves; that's the
crappy way we treat people we care about sometimes. It never fails to amaze me
when I see how callous we have become when it comes to relationships. Everything
is becoming very cut and dry. Yet we are forgetting the main reason for having a
relationship in the first place. It's supposed to be sharing our lives with
someone we love, not getting what we can from the relationship and then running
away.
In the last little while, I have been receiving a lot of
e-mails from individuals who seem to think they are the only people in this
world that really count for anything. Let me share a couple with you.
Dear Prof.
Hi my name is Gary, and I want to know how you break
up with someone these days? My girlfriend (she's thirty and I'm forty six) and I
have been going together for three years, and she bores the hell out of me!
Should I send her a letter or maybe just flowers? Is there any proper protocol I
should follow?
Thanks for your time
Gary in Coopersville
Dear Gary,
Wow I thought guys like you were extinct. I'm
amazed you've had a girlfriend at all.
Have you tried honesty with your girlfriend? She
may appreciate the chance to run for the hills.
Gary, if the lady bores the hell out of you, then
odds are you probably bore the hell out of her too. Try talking to her face to
face. Tell her how you feel, and tell her in your own way. I have a feeling she
will see exactly what this relationship has to offer, which is zero. I also
think she will see you for what you are (an uncaring, self-centered, callous
excuse for a human being).
If for some reason she is having a hard time
dropping you like a hot rock, please tell her to e-mail me. I'm sure I can
help.
Prof. Taltos
Dear Prof Taltos,
Cute name! Hi I'm a twenty-year-old straight male.
I have a girl friend who thinks Xmas is something special. Her whole family is
nuts; they act like kids at Xmas time. We've been together for four years and
every years. We have to go visit her family on Xmas eve. I told her this year we
aren't going to visit them. She can go by herself, but I don't want to, and I
don't think I should have to. Now she's mad at me and says she's going to
spend all of Xmas with her folks. What can I get her to make her happy again?
Merry Xmas
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
Well bah humbug to you too! Listen buddy I'm
getting sick of the whining when it comes to holidays. Grow up both of you, and
maybe you'll see that being in a relationship means having to share things,
including the holidays.
Here's the deal: as far as I know this deal has
been tried and true for as long as there have been couples and Christmas. You
alternate relatives. One year is for her family, and one year is for yours.
It's a simple plan, and that's the beauty of it. In later years for married
couples, I tell them to just expand the system to run every three years. Include
one year for your family at home Christmas.
You can also consider just making Christmas a time
for the two of you, if things are serious enough. It may be a nice tradition you
could enjoy for years to come. My family celebrates our Christmas together on
Boxing Day. I find this really works out well, too.
Either way, Gary, I hope this helps and Merry
Christmas.
Prof. Taltos
I think that's about it for this week ladies and
gentlemen. Please send your e-mails to the Prof. at proftalos@yahoo.ca.
Until then take care and stay healthy.
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