|
Dear Aunt Cynthia,
My Mom doesn’t know I’m writing to you. I don’t think
she’d believe it was me anyway, but I need to ask a question. My step-brother
and I are in love, and we want to run away together, but he says we have to wait.
I’m 16, and he’s 19. I know he wants to save up more money for us
to live on, but if we wait too long our parents will stop us some how.
How can I get him to understand how important it is for us to
run away soon? I want him to
understand how much I love him and how happy we will be together. Is there a
better way for me to do this? I don’t want to wait any longer.
Desperate in love.
Dear Desperate,
I received your
e-mail yesterday, and I have to tell you if I can help you in any way I will, but
I don’t think I’m the person you should be talking to. If you’ll bear with
me I’ll explain why I feel this way.
I believe you
should be talking to someone who knows the two of you and understands you. I
don’t mean one of your peers, who’re going to be full of sympathy for you. If
sympathy's all you were looking for, you would never have sent me this e-mail.
You’re asking something very difficult, and you need answers to your questions. This
may mean you need to turn to a professional or someone who may have better
insight to your dilemma.
I’m not going to talk to you like a child. You’re far
from a child, and we both know it. You’ve shown a lot of maturity in asking for
my help. But as an adult and a parent, I have to say my heart goes out to you and
your step-brother. The path the two of you are choosing is one filled with
potholes and dangerous bridges to cross. Be very careful which way you decide to
go and try to make sure you can see the way ahead of you clearly.
I can’t and won’t tell you that what you’re about to do
is wrong. I don’t have the right to judge you or weigh you down with my
opinions. What I have the right and obligation to do is try to explain the pros
and cons of what you want. The final decision is up to you and your
step-brother.
Society dictates that there are certain taboos we are to
follow. Some of these taboos are silly and misunderstood to great degrees.
However silly or unnecessary we think the taboos are if we break them we still
have to live with a lifetime of raised eyebrows and whispers behind our back. I
don’t want to sound harsh, but I am simply telling you how it is or rather how
it can be for you two.
If you decide together to go forward with this I can promise
you it will never be easy. I suppose you could simply lie about your situation,
but wouldn’t that be denying your love? By
breaking some of these rules you will find yourself facing states, provinces and
even countries that have very dim view of this kind of situation. I’d hate to
think of you suffering because of your love for each other.
I’m going to ask you to do something for me. You’ve been
brave enough to trust me with this information, so what harm could it be if you
found someone close to you that you could share this with? Like I said in the first place, I know you’re not a child
and I know you really want to do the right thing. If you didn’t you would
never have asked me to help you. So if you find a councilor or someone who you
feel safe with then you will be able to talk to someone who is close enough and
knows you both well enough to understand the problem.
You said he was your step not half brother, if you had said
half brother I would have had to tell you that what you wanted is wrong,
unhealthy, and illegal. The taboo concerning half brothers and sisters marrying
are, in some ways, based on the genetics of such a problem. There isn’t any
room for love if the end result can be a child brought into this world deformed
or challenged. This would be simply cruel and callous, not love.
I can understand how this situation has arisen for you the
two of you. It’s hard to control yourself when you’re in close quarters and
your dealing with a multitude of emotions that are bubbling to the surface.
You’re also sharing these emotions on a daily basis. This builds a strong
feeling of trust between the two of you. It makes sense to think you may be in
love and perhaps you really are.
If this is love and if you’re going to pursue it, all I can
say is, please take the time to really be sure of which way you want all of this
to go. You sound like a sweet person with a lot going for her. Try to make your
journey through life a safe, happy trip.
Yours truly,
Aunt Cynthia
Well I think that’s about enough for today. I’m really
pleased to see so many of you have taken the time to send me your personal
stories about your clashes with your local authorities. I’ll be starting to
answer them soon so keep those e-mails coming, askauntcynthia@storiesbyemail.com
Aunt Cynthia
©2004 StoriesByEmail.com
|
