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Benny dreamed he was a water balloon. He was swelling, his skin stretching to a tautness never before known to man. Worse, he was starting to leak.
Startled by this revelation, Benny jolted awake. Gritting his teeth, he cursed under his breath. The crutches lay where they were thrown them two days before. People stepped over them. They swept, mopped, and waxed around them. No one touched them. No one moved the dammed things.
Two Swords gave him a merry poke in the belly. He tried to hide a wicked grin but failed. A
tsi:ge:O glared at the guardian from the shadows, then glanced around for that savage machine that had nearly given her a hot wax job yesterday.
The tiny elf-like woman sniffed. In her hand was a dangerous blade all of three inches long. With a lazy grin, Two Swords pulled 'Heart from her harness. He was challenging her? A murderous look came over her and she started out of the shadows after him.
Two Swords stuffed 'Heart back in the harness so fast the sword squeaked in protest. The
tsi:ge:O shrugged, but Two Swords wasn't fooled. No-body messes with an injun broad and gets away with it. Even if she was only knee high on a mortal.
Benny reached down and forced his knees together.
Head bowed, he grimaced. Benny tossed the covers aside and pushed his legs over the edge of the bed. He grasped a strap hanging from the framework over the bed and slid off. His hand snarled in the loop.
He jerked on it a few times and muttered under his breath at the worn looking-strap.
"No-va. Damn."
Benny hauled himself back on the bed. He worked his hand loose and tried again. With yelp, he was dumped on the floor by an impatient Two Swords. Blankets piled on top of him, the bathrobe twisting around his body.
Benny floundered for a moment and lay still. What a life. Piss on it.
With a little more prodding from Two Swords, he almost did.
"Geezus." Benny gulped and clenched his teeth together. "Boyde would kill me." Worse, she'd laugh at him. This was bullshit. She was a nurse, wasn't she? And a woman. A lot of woman. At least a delicate three-hundred pounds of woman. A smile crept over his face. Big woman. Yo, babe-ee, yo. Be like doin' the wild thang with the mighty Pacific. Benny chuckled to himself and winced at a roll of pain in his bladder.
With a great deal of care, he extracted himself from the blankets. Gotta be cool, my man, or you'll be needing a mop to wash with. Hell, you mess up her floors, and Boyde'll be using you to mop up.
The robe tangled under him and Benny tore it off as he crawled along the floor. He lay it under his flaccid, twitching legs and slid a little quicker.
Yo, an orderly. What was his name? Carlos? Hanks? No, Hanks was the big ugly jerk with the warped sense of humor, so it had to be Carlos.
Two Swords bared his teeth at Benny.
"I do not have a warped sense a humor. Do I 'Heart?"
The hilt rapped him on the back of the head.
Carlos breezed passed the kid. Orders was orders, man. He wasn't in to scrubbing bedpans or doin' them floors with a toothbrush. She-it, no, even if he did like the little dude. The kid got brio, for a fact. A real 'mano, that injun was. The hair on the back of Carlos' neck shivered with a Stone Age instinct for survival. Either Boyde or the Bat-Bitch was near. He moved a little faster.
Panting for air, Benny stepped and in a low voice to called Carlos. "Yo. Least you could do is hand 'em to me, since I made it this far."
A kick rattled the crutches into Benny's path. Carlos walked on.
Flashing a smile at the man's back, he scrabbled to the crutches. Benny used one to sit up. Hauling them under him, he pulled himself up by the arm grips.
Carlos passed the news. A low murmur of encouragement welled up through the ward.
On his knees, Benny gave them an eagle-proud look and the noise subsided to an inaudible whisper. An imp slid near and Benny sprawled to the floor. Biting off angry words, he pounded the side of his fist on the tiles and tried again. The crutches spun away.
Sweet-Bottom hesitated. More because of the bitter rage on his face than any fear of Boyde, she glanced away and walked by. Benny leered at her. Yo, what a lay she'd be, if she didn't hate his guts. He ached for her.
Sweet-Bottom, she had a butt that was meaty, made every man in the place hungry. It looked just right to hang on to when things got sweaty and down and serious. It was her best feature. Her features were angelic, the war-heads militant and proud, but, man, that rear bumper.
"I'd like to put my teeth on that," he said to himself and winked at the man in the closest bed. The man chortled and clutched himself, his face an expression of agony.
A man is as a man does, Grandson
Shut it, Grampa.
The aged voice in the back of Benny's head cackled a laugh.
Punk. You ain't no kid o' mine. What would your first dad and your mom think, dude? Butt-fairy.
"Carl?" Man, is that you? Carl, I'm sorry, man. You shouldn't a died. I-
Screw off, punk.
A crutch was thrust at him from the next bed. Face grim and determined, Benny wrapped his hands around it. He let the man drag him to the bed, but shook his head at any more help.
"I ain't a punk."
"We know that, kid. We know."
Benny heaved himself up the bed and then his sticks were there. The man holding them shrugged and shoved them under his arms.
"Shut it. Maybe some day you'll do me a favor, too, yo."
Benny gave him a crooked grin, blinking back a tear of gratitude.
He stood and glared around the room.
The men gave a quiet cheer.
"Go, man, go."
Myers peered around the corner, watching Benny totter to the ward's lavatory. On his face there was a grin stretching from ear to ear. She cackled and mumbled to herself. "O, he'll be madder than a hatter, when he busts his ol' bladder. Ha, I told that fool he'd do it today. Hee-hee. And she was gonna give in, too, huh." She winked at the big galoot with the sword trailing after Benny and he scowled a smile back. Clearing her face of any joy, she stalked into the wardroom with a snarl for every smiling face there. Except one.
Boyde sailed in, her eyes narrowed, mind listing, seeking anything the orderlies might have overlooked. Myers waved at her.
With a cackle of laughter, she called out, "Hope them folks down Cape Fear way got lots o' flood insurance."
Eyes wide, Boyde stumbled to a halt by the mess at Benny's cot. In a fit of laughter she collapsed face down on the bed, choking on tears of Joy.
©2003 StoriesByEmail.com
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