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The driver took him to a suburb several minutes outside the city. Malachi leaned forward on the edge of the seat as they turned down Willowcreek Drive. The street was lined with two and three-story homes. They were all of similar design, with the only variations as landscaping and paint choices. Most homes had a minivan parked in the drive, and a swing set visible from the backyards. Obviously a middle-class family community.
The driver stopped in front of a beige home with tan trim. Malachi peel off several bills and stepped out. "Wait for me, please." Who knew how long it would take to get a taxi sent back to suburbia?
He walked up the neat walkway, paved with unimaginative cement blocks. A tricycle was turned on its side near the porch, and several balls dotted the lawn. He stepped onto the porch and rang the bell, feeling out of his element. The family scene had never been his thing. He was uncomfortable around other people's children, and from the looks of the Baldwins' yard, they had at least one.
When the door opened, he was assaulted by the sound of a baby crying. The baby in question was tucked against the shoulder of a woman whose resemblance to Kelly was so striking she could only be Angela Baldwin. She had the same slim body frame, delicate features, and full lips. She lacked Kelly's elegant fashion sense and poise, dressed as she was in a sweatshirt and jeans. She frowned at him. "Are you Malachi Norden?"
He nodded, waiting for her to open the screen door and invite him in.
She pushed it open with one hand, while jiggling the baby on her shoulder with the other. "Come in." She made no effort to sound welcoming.
He stepped inside wearily. As he had suspected from what he had seen of other suburban families, they had a dog. It was a lumbering, slobbering beast, with friendly eyes, and a dangerous tail that smacked against his legs. The black dog was large enough to be a small pony, and it pressed itself close to Malachi's leg. He patted it once on the head. "Good boy," he said half-heartedly.
Angela took the dog by the collar and pulled on it. "Go lay down, Sasha." She spoke brusquely, but it was obvious her irritation wasn't with the dog. "Have a seat, Mr. Norden."
He didn't repeat the invitation to use his first name as he took a seat on the couch. Malachi yelped when he sat on something sharp. He fished out a child's toy with dangerous looking spikes attached to the head of the doll.
She took a seat in the recliner, focusing on the baby in her arms for a few minutes, obviously trying to calm it.
He was left to his own thoughts as his eyes scanned the room, taking in the simple 27-inch TV, older model DVD player, and collection of children's VHS and DVD movies. They didn't even have surround sound. He shook his head, wondering if he would ever end up like this. But if this was what Kelly wanted, he would oblige her. He cleared his throat to capture Angela's attention, deciding the soft whimpers coming from the baby wouldn't fade. "Why did you need to see me, Ms. Baldwin?"
She curled her lip. "My sister made me promise to speak with you."
He raised his brow. "About what?"
Her eyes left his to focus on the wall. Her thoughts appeared to have drifted, but she finally spoke. "Kelly died three months ago."
He sat, frozen, staring at her. Shock overwhelmed him, followed by a wave of nausea. He wanted to deny what she was saying, and he went so far as to shake his head.
Sympathy flickered through her eyes, but faded when the baby cried. Her gaze dropped to the infant in her arms, and she stroked its profusion of dark hair. "She died in childbirth."
He didn't know what to say first. Malachi couldn't believe Justin had consented to reversing the vasectomy he'd gotten during his first marriage. He couldn't believe Kelly had agreed to have a child with her abusive husband. He couldn't believe she was gone. How could it have happened? She was young and healthy. "Women don't die having babies in this country," he said in a raspy voice.
Angela's head whipped up. "Kelly did. She was practically a damned ghost by the time she went into labor." Her dark eyes shone with anger.
He shook his head. "I don't understand. How did this happen?"
"You left her here to cope alone. You had to be selfish and demanding. You couldn't let her figure out what she wanted before you rushed off." She closed her mouth with a click when the baby's cries increased.
Malachi's eyes widened at her diatribe. "What're you saying?"
"Justin didn't want any part of your child, and he threw Kelly out." Angela rubbed her hand across the baby's back. "After he left some souvenirs on her. I thought she was going to miscarry that night."
Malachi found it difficult to draw in a deep breath. She couldn't be saying what he was hearing. "You're saying it's mine. The baby is mine?"
She nodded. "Kelly told me what happened during the week she spent in the hospital after Justin finished with her. I begged her to call you, but she said she didn't know how to reach you. She thought you wouldn't want to hear from her anyway."
A painful breath was trapped in his throat, and he coughed to clear it. It sounded suspiciously like a sob. "I wanted her to be independent. I didn't want her always running to me. I didn't know..."
Grudgingly, she nodded. "Kelly was too weak. She's always been that way with men. Our father was a strict man, and she was never good at standing up to him." Angela sighed and shifted the baby. "She was afraid to call you, I think. She told me you weren't the family type."
He nodded, swallowing the lump of moisture in his throat. "My job...I travel a lot."
She nodded once. "Well, I've kept my promise. You know about Makai. There are papers..."
"She named him after me?"
"Yes." Angela's angry expression faded slightly. "Do you want to hold him while I get the papers?"
He nodded, unable to find his voice. His mouth was dry as Angela stood up and brought him the baby. He felt awkward as he held out his arms. When she carefully transferred the baby, he held him at a distance.
"Tuck him against you," she said.
Malachi pulled the baby closer, amazed at how right it felt to have him in his arms. He looked up as Angela left the room, and then his gaze returned to the baby. He drank in his son's tiny features, thick hair, and bowed mouth. He could see a resemblance to Kelly, but his own features were visible in Makai's face too.
Why hadn't she called him? He would have come back to her immediately. Malachi closed his eyes, searching deep inside for the confirmation to his hasty thought. He didn't feel any doubt. He would have been there for Kelly. He could have been if he hadn't been so stubborn and insisted she either come with him to Africa and change her entire life, or stay with Justin. He hadn't given her any other options. He was an all-or-nothing kind of guy, and he had ended up with nothing.
The baby mewled, causing him to open his eyes and look down. No, not nothing. He had a baby from the woman he loved. Malachi knew things were going to change, but sitting there, holding his son, he didn't think the changes would be so bad.
Angela reentered the living room, holding a thick sheaf of papers. "Our attorney drew these up a couple of days after we brought Makai home. It's a standard release, but if you want an attorney to examine it..."
He blinked. "Excuse me. A release for what?"
"Your parental rights."
Malachi shook his head. "I'm not signing that."
"Mr. Norden, my husband and I can't officially adopt Makai until you sign these papers. Right now, we're temporary guardians."
He nodded. "I understand. I appreciate what you've done for my son, but he's my responsibility."
Her mouth fell open, and she seemed to be struggling to find words. A strange squeak emerged from her, and a flush swept across her cheekbones. "You? You honestly think you can raise a baby?" A hard laugh escaped her. "Do you have any idea what's involved? You'll have to give up your fancy job and quit traveling. No more war-torn countries, dangerous jungles, and foreign cultural studies."
He felt a pang at the thought of leaving behind one aspect of his career, but he shook his head. "I'm prepared to do that. I'd photograph kids at K-Mart if that's what it takes."
She shook her head, blatantly skeptical. "You'll be up day and night, seeing to his needs."
"I'll hire a professional," he countered.
"Women!" she said loudly. "You won't have time for casual flings. You can't parade a constant stream of women in and out of Makai's life. A child needs stability."
He nodded. "I've never been into casual flings."
She snorted. "Just busting up marriages, Mr. Norden?"
"I'll accept my share of the blame for Kelly and Justin divorcing, but only a share. Justin didn't treat her well, and I don't think Kelly really loved him. She was young and awed by an older man. They married two weeks after meeting. How could she have known what she was getting into?"
Angela sighed, and her shoulders fell. "And Daddy liked him. He encouraged them to stay together." She brushed at the tears on her cheeks. "You can't really mean to take Makai. He'll be happy with us. We have two older children, and they love him like a brother. My husband and I love Makai."
"He's my son. I owe it to him-"
"Stop being so selfish," she snapped. "You always have to have it your way. Look what that did to Kelly."
He flinched. "She should have called me. I acted like an idiot when I left, but I would have been there for her, if I had known." His voice dropped. "I called my answering machine every day for months, praying she had left a message."
"She finally did, the night she went into labor." Angela's eyes closed. "I think she knew she wouldn't survive the delivery. She called you, and then she made me promise to tell you when you came home. She also made me promise to take care of the baby if you didn't want him," she said gently.
"I do want him." Malachi tightened his hold on his son, trying to deny a dart of doubt. He wanted to do the right thing. He wanted to take Makai home, but he was scared of what it would mean to his life. How would things change? He had always been responsible just for him, and never for another person's life before.
"She told me not to be angry if you didn't take him. She said she wanted what was best for him." Angela's voice softened. "Are you certain you raising him is the best for Makai?"
He hesitated, torn between what he wanted and what he should want.
"You can still see him. If you don't want to relinquish your rights, we'll work around that." Angela stood up and approached the couch, speaking in a soft, reasonable voice the whole time. "You can be part of his life." She lifted him from Malachi's arms.
He tightened his hold briefly, and then relaxed. He looked up at his son, held so tenderly in Angela's arms. He felt bereft without him already, but was it right to take him? What did he know of being a father? He was a self-centered person, and he knew that. His needs had always come first. Even now, he couldn't focus on what Kelly's death meant, beyond how it affected him. Could he shift his priorities for a child? What would he do to Makai if he wasn't able to? What kind of life would he give his son?
"What did she want? Please, tell me honestly."
Angela bit her lip, and her eyes darted around the room. Finally, she lowered her head. "She wanted you to raise him if you were willing. She wanted Makai to know you. She said he would be good for you."
His breath left him with a whoosh, and he felt ridiculously giddy. Kelly had faith in him. She had believed he could do it. He just had to believe too. "Will you help me, Angela? Will you teach me what I need to know?"
She didn't speak for a long minute, as tears rolled down her cheeks. Slowly, she nodded. "If that's what you want."
He stood up and lifted Makai from her arms, cradling him close. "It's what Kelly wanted."
"But is it what you want?" Her hands were on her hips, but her voice lacked the note of challenge she seemed to have tried to interject.
He touched the back of Makai's head, inhaled the smell of baby shampoo and powder, and felt a rush of pleasure at the scents. "Yeah. It's what I need."
©2003 StoriesByEmail.com
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